The Closeness of Hate and Love
by The Hobbit Lass
Summary: While trying to save her brother from prison, Estella Bolger encounters Merry Brandybuck who has just returned to the Shire. They could be the perfect couple, but for one problem: they hate each other. Or maybe they just think they do...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't even think about hiring those lawyers against me. I don't own Lord of the Rings. I admit it. However, I _do_ own any original characters I put in here, so you can't sue me for that.

I love hobbit romance stories so much that I just had to write one of my own. Hobbit romance really is the best, especially Merry/Estella stories, and I hope my little story isn't an insult to that wonderful genre.

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Chapter One

She drew the shawl more tightly around her shoulders and adjusted the scarf that covered her hair. Both articles of clothing were a light gray color, and the dress she had on was faded and slightly ragged. She had taken the clothes from an abandoned house. Her own clothes were too fine and would attract notice, and she needed to be as inconspicuous as possible.

As she crept through the village of Bywater, Estella Bolger thought out her plan to rescue her brother. Fredegar, or Fatty as he was nicknamed, had led a group of rebels but had been caught by the ruffians. He was in the Lockholes in Michel Delving at the moment, and Estella was going to do anything she could to get him out.

She felt it was her duty. She felt guilty about her brother's capture. Guilty because she had actually encouraged him to revolt and lead the rebels. She felt she owed it to him and that saving him would make up for everything.

She really didn't know how she was going to rescue Fatty, but she would have to try. The November air was cold and she shivered slightly, and walked quietly down the road. Suddenly, someone was hissing her name. "Estella?" She looked and saw Rosco Hornblower walking down the road in the opposite direction. Rosco was acquainted with her and her brother.

"How did you know it was me, Rosco?" she asked.

"How could I not have recognized those big eyes of yours?" he said with a faint smile. The smile rapidly disappeared though. "What are you doing wandering around here? You should be at home. They're fighting off the ruffians and it isn't something you should see."

"Who? Who's fighting off the ruffians?"

Rosco's eyes narrowed in concentration. He was never one who could pay attention to details and his memory was poor. "Folk are calling them the 'Travelers'. I never caught their names, but they've roused the hobbits of the Shire and have been driving the ruffians away."

"That's wonderful!" Estella exclaimed. "It's about time something like this has happened. I hope those Travelers succeed." Her face fell. "Unlike poor Fatty."

"I've heard he's still alive," Rosco said, trying to helpful. His mood changed and he was now acting sternly. "Now anyways, Estella, you shouldn't be out here. Go home."

"I can't go home!" she insisted. "I'm staying out here and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

Rosco was tempted to chuckle, but didn't dare. Estella's stubbornness was widely known and few could overcome it. "Well if you won't go home, then at least tell me what you're doing. Why are you dressed in those drab clothes?"

She looked up and met his gaze. "I'm going to rescue Fatty."

He stared at her in shock. "Estella, you can't! It simply can't be done. You'll be captured by the ruffians and then you'll be in the Lockholes too. They'll starve you, and they'll beat you, and they... they could use you in- in vulgar ways."

"Well maybe you can help me, Rosco, and then I won't get caught."

Rosco turned pale. "No." He shook his head fiercely. "Neither of us are going to do anything. You are staying away from that place. I ought to march you home this very minute. Estella, you're simply too young to understand all of this."

"I am not too young," she said indignantly. "I came of age in December."

"Yes, which means you are still a youngster. You have no idea how impossible it would be to rescue your brother. I won't allow this."

"Well that's just too bad." And before he could stop her, she turned on her heels and ran.

"ESTELLA!" He tried to run after her but she was swift and had gotten away. Poor Rosco stumbled down the road, calling her name, but it was no use. He wouldn't catch up to her, and she wouldn't listen to him and turn around. He stared ahead. Though he couldn't see her, he knew she was up ahead there somewhere. "Please let her come to no harm."

x-x-x

Estella thundered down the dirt road, running away from Rosco and going towards the place where she could find Fatty. Her gray shawl fluttered behind her like a sail, and her scarf was about to fall off her head. She ripped it off and held it crumpled up in her hand.

She would show Rosco that she was mature enough to handle things. She would make him realize his mistake in not believing in her.

She wasn't entirely sure where the Lockholes were, but she was sure she could find them. She stuffed the scarf into a pocket of the faded dress, and slowed to a walk and looked behind her. She could see no sign of Rosco. He was never much of a runner.

She walked past stumps of trees and hideous shacks along the Bywater Road, feeling a surge of hatred rush through her. She wanted those ruffians gone. If she could, she would help those Travelers chase them away. But first she had to help Fatty. There was suddenly the loud sound of a horn call. It sounded close by. Very close by. Estella looked around and saw that she was near a field lined with hedges. Armed hobbits were standing by the hedges and they looked prepared to attack.

Then suddenly, ruffians appeared. They attacked the hobbits and the hobbits attacked back. Estella was witnessing what appeared to be a battle. A few other hobbits joined her where she was standing and watched what was going on with terrified curiosity.

The battle was horrifying, yet exciting at the same time. Estella's feet were riveted to the ground. Though she knew she should move on, she couldn't move.

She noticed two people who appeared to be knights from some far-off country. What were such people doing in the Shire?

She continued to look at the fighting hobbits and noticed someone she thought she would never see again. If she wasn't mistaken, that was Samwise Gamgee who was running about and waving his sword around. She was shocked to see him doing such a thing. What had happened to the shy gardener he had once been? He was now dressed in fine clothes and looked like he knew how to fight. What was he doing alive? Most people thought he wasn't ever coming back. But he had. Then did that mean that Frodo, Pippin, and Merry were back too?

She wondered where Merry was. Everyone had said that he was dead and she believed them. She had willed herself to forget all about him. It was no use lingering on thoughts of the dead. But maybe he was alive...

Of course, it wouldn't matter. If he was back, then he wouldn't pay any particular attention to her and would probably prank and harass her just as he always had. She used to wish she could get him to see her as an equal, not just as some silly little girl who always tagged along after him and her brother. She wasn't so immature. She was only three years younger than him.

She watched the battle some more. She had lost sight of Sam but one of the knights had caught her eye. He was dressed in armor and was wearing green and white. The armor had an image of a horse on it. She thought it was very impressive. This knight seemed to be leading the hobbits, and appeared to be a hobbit himself, to her surprise. Had Frodo and the others found hobbit warriors in some far-off land?

She kept her eye on him, watching him as he became a green and white blur as he rapidly swung his sword through the air and struck the ruffians down. Though she didn't know him, she found herself admiring him. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing and the other hobbits all listened to him. She could see that he was desperate to save the Shire.

Sam came into her sight again, as well as the other hobbit knight who was dressed in black and silver and had a white tree on his armor. But she only glanced at them and continued to watch the knight in green and white.

He had approached the leader of the band of the ruffians. They were fighting now, and the hobbit knight sent his sword stabbing right through the ruffian leader. Blood gushed down the ruffian's front and covered the hobbit's sword. The ruffian gave a gasp and his eyes became glassy. He fell to the ground and was dead.

The sight of blood didn't frighten Estella and as she watched the ruffian leader fall, her admiration for the hobbit in green and white grew. He fascinated her. Who was he? He was so brave and was able to just take command and teach those ruffians a lesson. She was probably half-infatuated with him.

By the end of the battle, almost seventy of the ruffians were dead. The remaining ones were captured and made prisoner. Nineteen hobbits had been killed and Estella felt a sharp pang of grief for them. At least they had died valiantly. They had died fighting for their homes and the ones they loved.

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Well, that's the first chapter. More will come soon. Make sure you review, because I love getting feedback, whether it's good or bad. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The battle was over, and Estella realized that she had lingered there too long. While she had been rooted to the spot by the action that happened in front of her, something horrible could have happened to Fatty. She had to get to him right away. She would have to ask how to get to the Lockholes.

Sam Gamgee was close by and was walking away. He was the only one in the crowd of hobbits that Estella knew, even though she didn't know him very well. She hurried over to him. "Sam?"

Sam looked at her in surprise. "Miss Estella! What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here with all the fighting going on."

"Sam, they're keeping hobbits prisoners in the Lockholes! My brother is in there and I have to rescue him. Do you know how to get there?"

"Sam!" said a voice. "Sam, we're about to ride back to the Cottons! Come on!" A hobbit was walking towards them. A hobbit wearing armor and green and white. Estella stared at him, her eyes wide. She recognized that hobbit.

"_Merry_?"

He looked at her with the same surprise that Sam had shown. "Estella? What are you wearing? And what are you doing here?"

She was so shocked that she was unable to speak to him in the usual haughty tone she always reserved just for him when he was getting on her nerves. "Trying to save Fatty."

"Oh," Merry said. "We heard about what he's done. It was brave of him, but a pity he got caught. But what do you mean when you say you're going to save him?"

"I need to go to the Lockholes and rescue him from that place," she replied. "Do you expect me to just let those ruffians arrest my brother and then not do anything about it?"

"I'm glad we found you before you tried anything," he said. "You wouldn't have been able to accomplish anything. The ruffians would catch you and then they would beat you and throw you into a cell of your own."

She could feel frustrated tears starting in her eyes and she willed them go away. "But we've got to get him out of there!"

"We will," Merry promised her. "Fatty will be fine for the time being, and then we'll all go to the Lockholes and get him. Please don't try anything on your own, Estella."

She didn't say another word to him. He was behaving just like Rosco had. Everyone acted like she was incapable of doing anything.

"Come on, Miss Estella," said Sam kindly. "We'll take you with us to the Cotton farm." They walked her over to two other hobbits, and she didn't have a choice but to go along. One of the hobbits she knew right away was Frodo Baggins. He seemed the same except he was dressed in strange fine clothing like Sam's and there was something in his eyes that chilled her heart. There was pain in those eyes. What had he been through?

The other hobbit took her by surprise. He was the knight wearing black and silver. She had thought he was a stranger, but she realized that she knew him.

"I can't believe it!" she cried. "Pippin!"

He nodded. "What? Thought you'd never see me in armor?"

They were all so different. Sam and Frodo had only changed somewhat, but Merry and Pippin had changed considerably. They were taller than she remembered, and they had fighting skills and were able to take care of the ruffians. Where had they gotten the armor? Where did they go and what happened?

Someone suddenly seized her by the wrist and was pulling her behind. "Merry, let go of me!" she said.

He didn't though. He pulled her over to a pony, and then picked her up and helped her mount it. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "Get me down from here!"

"Fine then," he said. "We'll all ride to the Cottons and you can walk."

She felt angry with embarrassment. "In that case I'll ride. But I'd better not fall off. And if I become saddle-sore, then I'm blaming it on you."

"All right, all right," he said. He swung up onto the saddle behind her and took hold of the reins. Sam was on his pony and was already walking, and Merry followed. Frodo and Pippin mounted their ponies and went after them.

Throughout the ride, Estella's mind was overwhelmed with thoughts, feelings, and questions. She thought she would never see Merry again, but here he was, all dressed up like some hero from a story. She couldn't believe she had actually been thinking about him in an almost love-struck way. But that was back when she didn't know who he was. He was a just a heroic stranger and she admired him and had even liked him the way a lass will like a lad. But now she knew his identity and was just embarrassed with herself for thinking such things.

When she had first seen him, she had completely forgotten about all the hard feelings they had had towards each other. All this time she had thought he was dead. She had completely forgotten her hatred and was just happy to see him. While he was gone, there was nobody to argue with her and harass her.

Merry was silent throughout the ride. She wondered what he was thinking about. Did she want to know? She finally broke the silence and asked a question. She had so many of them but knew she couldn't possibly ask them all, so she had to settle for just one. "Merry, where did you get the armor?"

"The Lady Eowyn gave it to me," he replied. "She managed to find some that would fit me and I wore it in the battle. I had started as esquire to king Theoden, but then Eowyn made sure I was made into a knight of Rohan."

_What? _she thought to herself. She had no idea what he was talking about. Where was Rohan? And who were Eowyn and Theoden? There was so much she didn't know about him; about where he had been and what he seen and the things he had done. As soon as there was time, she was going to make sure she got the whole story from him.

She spoke again. "So you're a knight then. A hobbit knight. I never dreamed such a thing would ever happen."

He laughed. "Everyone is probably going to stare at Pippin at me. He's a knight too now. A knight of Gondor, though he started out as a guard of the citadel."

He was doing it again. Going on about things she didn't understand. She wished she knew where Gondor was. She felt so foolish compared to him. He had seen so much and she had never seen anything outside of the Shire.

Estella ventured to ask another question. Now that she started asking them, she didn't want to stop. "You mentioned a battle. Were you talking about the one you just fought today or a different one?" She had a feeling he wasn't referring to the Battle of Bywater.

He was quiet for a few moments. Then finally, he spoke quietly. "A different battle." There was a different tone in his voice now, a tone she couldn't place. What had happened in that battle to make him speak of it like that? "I'll tell you about it later," he said. "Now is not the time."

She was quiet after that, and so was he. They were at the Cotton farm now and the four ponies slowed to a stop. Merry got out of the saddle and tried to help her down. "I can get down myself," she insisted. She didn't want him helping her as if she was some child who couldn't do anything. She straightened out her skirt and leapt down off of the pony. There was a loud splash, and she looked down and saw she had landed right in a mud puddle. It spattered her legs and dress. At least the dress didn't belong to her.

"Why did you have to stop the pony right next to a puddle?" she demanded.

"I thought you would have had the common sense to look down and see it," he said. "Sorry about your dress. Though I must say, even without the mud, it isn't very attractive."

"That's because it isn't mine," she said. "I took it from an abandoned house. The ruffians must not have wanted it."

"So you've become a thief," he said, though there was laughter in his voice.

"No! I am not!" she retorted hotly. "It was just there for the taking. If I didn't get it, then someone else would have!" She had forgotten how much he used to irritate her sometimes.

"Well, just forget about the whole thing. Come on, we're going inside and Mrs. Cotton will clean you up." Merry started to walk towards the Cottons' hole along with the others, and Estella followed.

The Cotton hole was nice and comfortable inside and there was a warm blazing fire built up. The furnishings were plainer than what Estella was used to at home, but she liked the place for some reason. A lass about Estella's age appeared. "So you're back," she said. "The midday meal is just about ready, so you can come into the kitchen."

"Thanks very much, Rosie," said Sam, his face rather red. "We're all quite hungry after all we've done today."

They followed the girl named Rosie into the kitchen and Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin all sat down at the table. Estella remained standing. She was still covered in mud and didn't want to get it all over their furniture. She felt guilty about being in the house at all. She looked down at the floor to see if she had tracked any mud in, but thankfully it had come off of the bottom of her feet before she had entered the house.

A woman who was standing by a large cooking pot gestured at Estella. "And who is this?" Her tone was kind, as if she didn't mind having a muddy stranger in her house.

"That's Estella Bolger," Merry said offhandedly. He looked over at her. "Why aren't you sitting down?"

Estella was tempted to sigh but didn't wish to bring attention to herself. She looked at Merry and then pointed at her dress. "Oh, I forgot!" Merry said. "Estella was clumsy, as usual-" Estella glared at him. "-and had a bit of an accident in the mud. Do you think you could clean her up, Mrs. Cotton?"

"Of course I will," Mrs. Cotton, the woman by the cooking pot, said pleasantly. "Come along, Miss Estella. I'll get you fixed up."

Mrs. Cotton walked out of the kitchen and Estella followed slowly. As she passed by Merry, she pinched him hard on the arm and hissed, "I am _not_ clumsy!" Merry may have been in battles and become a knight and saved the Shire, but he was still the same nuisance to her that he always had been. She caught up to Mrs. Cotton and followed the older woman into the washroom.

Mrs. Cotton looked Estella over. "We can clean the mud off your legs, Miss Estella, and you may borrow a dress of my Rosie's if you want to."

Estella shrugged. "All right then. This dress isn't mine anyway."

Mrs. Cotton raised her eyebrows but didn't ask any questions. Estella's legs were cleaned up and were mud-free, and the faded muddy dress was off of her and she was now clad in a soft blue dress of Rosie's.

"There, that's better," said Mrs. Cotton. "Now come on and you can have something to eat. You're probably hungry."

Estella followed her back into the kitchen and sat down in between Pippin and Rosie. She was amazed at the fact that there was room for everyone at the table. Rosie's four brothers had joined them and the kitchen was now crowded. The food was good and Estella ate in silence, not paying much attention to what was going on around her.

"I suppose we'll have to deal with this "Chief" that everyone is talking about," Frodo said. "We should start out now and head for Bag End."

"And I'm coming with you," Estella decided.

"No, you're going to stay right here," Merry ordered.

"No! I'm not! You can't tell what to do, Merry. If I want to come, then I'm going to come, and there is nothing you can do about it."

Everyone looked at her, and then looked away. "She's always like this," Merry muttered to Farmer Cotton. Estella was about to send him a death glare but thought better of it.

"I don't want to be left behind," she said as calmly as she could. "I want to go with you so I can get Fatty out of that horrible Lockholes place. I want to be the first to see him. I can't be the first one to see him if I don't come with you!"

"I understand," Frodo said. "I suppose you can come, since this is about Fatty."

"Oh, she'll come anyway even if you said she couldn't, Frodo," Pippin said. "Estella never does as she's told."

"That's right," she said, smiling at him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Farmer Cotton led Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, and Estella out of the house and Farmer Cotton gathered up a group of about two dozen hobbits to go with them to Bag End. They walked there on foot.

They walked down the road, past ugly little houses and piles of rubble. There was a new mill that was built, and it was polluting the area. Estella stared at it in disgust. They walked over to the hill where Bag End was located and gaped in surprise.

The field below the hill was dead and had no grass. The large Party Tree had been cut down and Sam's eyes filled with tears as he looked at the forlorn stump that was left. Sam's own home had been dug up and was now a quarry. There were all sorts of ugly little huts in front of Bag End, blocking the view of it and making the hill look as if the ruffians had conquered it.

They went up to Bag End and slunk through the crowd of huts. The front door was all scratched up and Frodo knocked on it. Nobody answered. Frodo knocked again, louder this time. Still no answer. He pushed on the door and it opened up. Leaving Farmer Cotton and the others behind, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Estella went slowly inside.

The smell was horrible and Estella covered her nose with a sleeve of her dress. Everything was in shambles and the whole place spoke of neglect.

"Estella, you really should go and wait outside," Frodo said.

"No," she hissed, keeping her voice down. "You all get to stay here, so I should get to stay too."

Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry all looked hopelessly at one another. Estella looked at them defiantly. "I'm going on with you."

"We've got to find Lotho," Frodo murmured. His relative, Lotho Sackville-Baggins was apparently the "Chief". They went through the house, looking in every room. There was no sign of life anywhere. It was as if the house had been abandoned.

Estella crept into the kitchen and something ran over her foot. She shrieked aloud and jumped backwards, knocking over a chair. It was only a rat.

"So this place is too scary for you, after all," said Merry. He had appeared out of nowhere and had a wicked smile on his face.

"It is not!" Estella said hotly. "It was just a rat. I'll get a knife and hunt it down myself just to prove to you that I can handle this place." She wished he would just go away. Sometimes she really hated him.

"No, that won't be necessary," he said. "Now come on. There's no time to be playing with the rats. Lotho isn't here so we're getting out of this place." He grabbed her roughly by the arm and gave her a push out of the kitchen.

"I could have exited the kitchen myself," she told him. He didn't reply and started walking ahead of her, and she followed. They soon met up with Frodo, Pippin, and Sam.

"No Lotho then?" Pippin asked.

Merry shook his head. "No, we might as well leave."

They headed for the doorway, but discovered someone standing there. Someone dressed in white robes with an evilly amused look in his dark eyes.

"Sharkey!" Frodo cried.

"Yes," the white-robed man said with a laugh. "I was called that in Isengard and that has become my _affectionate nickname_ here as well." He looked around at them all, looking into Estella's face last. She shuddered. She didn't like the look of his eyes. He was evil, she could tell. He frightened her.

"Who is he?" she whispered to Pippin, so softly that she was barely heard.

"Saruman the White," he replied just as softly. "A wizard."

A wizard? Like old Gandalf who used to visit the Shire occasionally? Estella braved another look at Saruman. This wizard was certainly nothing like Gandalf. Saruman and Frodo spoke to each other for a few minutes, and then a crowd of hobbits swarmed over to the doorway of Bag End.

"Kill him! Kill him!" they shouted. Estella thought it strange and horrifying to hear hobbits behaving so hostilely. Things had changed a lot since the coming of the ruffians.

Saruman simply laughed at them. "Worm!" he called. "Come along, Worm!" A little man with a very pale face and eyes that were heavily lidded came scurrying over to the wizard. "We are leaving now, Wormtongue," Saruman repeated. "Come along."

Saruman and his servant Wormtongue turned around to leave, but just as Saruman passed Frodo, he pulled out a knife and stabbed the hobbit. Estella cried out but muffled the sound with her sleeve. Sam was furious and drew out his sword. Frodo was all right, though. In fact, he hadn't been harmed at all. The knife had snapped when it struck him. Estella took the sleeve of her dress away from her mouth and felt immense relief.

The hobbits surrounding Bag End were livid with anger, even though Frodo was unharmed. They seemed about ready to kill Saruman.

Somebody grabbed Estella by the shoulders and hauled her off through the house. She squirmed and tried to kick the person who had grabbed her and was shoved into a closet. "Just what do you think you're doing, Merry? Let go of me and let me out of this closet!"

"I don't want you to see what might happen," Merry replied. His tone was serious and there was none of his usual sarcasm and mockery that he always spoke to her with. "Just stay here."

"But I saw the battle of Bywater," she said. "What could possibly happen that would be worse than that?"

"For the first time in your life, just do as you're told, Estella," he said. He shut the door and locked it. Estella wondered whose horrible idea it was to have that door lock from the outside. It was completely dark in the closet and she couldn't see or hear a thing. "I hate you, Merry," she muttered.

She waited in there for what felt like hours. Her feet were aching from standing so long and she felt around to see if there was anything to sit on. She felt a box beneath her hands and gratefully sat down upon it.

Finally, she heard the turning of a lock and instantly leapt to her feet. The door opened up and her eyes had to adjust to the light. She could see again. The only downside was that the very first thing she saw was Merry. "It's about time you let me out," she said. "Can we get my brother now?"

"Yes. Come on." He turned around and walked away, and she followed. _He could have at least offered me his hand_, she thought indignantly. When they were almost at the front of the house, where the doorway would be, Merry suddenly covered her eyes with his hand. "What are you doing now?" she demanded. She tried to remove his hand but his grip was strong.

"I don't want you to see," he replied.

"See what?"

"It's nothing."

"Well if it's nothing, then why can't I see it?"

"Just cooperate!" he said harshly. He marched her forward, his hand still covering her sight, and then suddenly picked her up.

"Put me down!" she squealed. "I'm not a cripple, you know! I can walk!"

He didn't reply though, and he didn't put her down. He walked several steps and she felt the warmth of the sun on her face. They must be outside now. Merry walked several more paces and then set her down. He removed his hand from her face and she could see.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"It was nothing!" he said. "Nothing you need to see!"

Frodo, Sam, and Pippin joined them outside. Farmer Cotton walked up the pathway, along with several other hobbits that had been watching what went on in the house. "Is he... taken care of?" Farmer Cotton asked.

Frodo nodded his head. "Yes," he said, with just a trace of sadness in his voice. "The last stroke."

"Where is he?" the farmer asked.

Frodo pointed. "In the doorway, where he fell. We'll have to dispose of him, though the thought of doing that sickens me."

_Who are they talking about?_ Estella wondered. It was no use asking what had happened. They wouldn't tell her. Merry was now busy talking to Farmer Cotton and wasn't watching her. She slipped away and crept over to the doorway of Bag End. There was something on the floor, in the doorway. Something that was completely covered with a cloak. A body. Someone had died. But who? The body was all crumpled in a heap and she couldn't tell if it was a hobbit or not.

She stared down at it, unable to move. That was why Merry had covered her eyes and had carried her when he walked over the body. She wished she hadn't gone to look at it.

"Estella! Get away from there!"

_Speak of the demon_, she thought. Merry had appeared. "Estella, I told you not to look at what's over here! Now you get away from there."

She pointed at the cloak-covered body, trying not to look at it. "Who is it?"

"Saruman," he said bitterly. "And good riddance. Now come." He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her behind him. Estella thought it couldn't take that much effort for him to be more gentle. It was no way to treat a young lady. She couldn't believe he had actually grabbed her and pushed her into a closet. What was the matter with him?

They were with Frodo and the others once more. Frodo looked at Estella. "Well, Estella, it's time we've fetched your brother."

"It's about time," was all she could say.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Estella followed Merry and Pippin through the Lockholes prison, followed by Frodo and Sam. The ruffians guarding the Lockholes had been driven away and it was now time to rescue the prisoners. Estella walked faster, eager to get to her brother Fatty.

Pippin opened up one of the cells. Estella could see someone crouched inside, muttering in a weak, frightened voice. "It's all right, Fatty," Pippin said calmly. "It's all right. I'm no ruffian. It's me, Pippin. We've come to get you out."

Estella pushed Pippin aside and flung herself onto the floor at her brother's side. The sight of him frightened her. This was not the Fredegar Bolger that she remembered. Was this terrifyingly thin hobbit really her brother? Or was he a stranger? "Fatty?" she whispered.

"I don't think we'll be calling him 'Fatty' anymore," Pippin muttered.

Fatty looked up at her. "Estella? Is it really you?"

She took his hand and was horrified at how bony it was. It was dirty and was covered in bruises. "Yes, it's me. Everything is going to be fine. You're getting out of here."

Fatty slowly sat up and tried to get to his feet. He made an effort, but he sank to the ground each time he tried. He was simply too weak. Estella was deeply saddened to see him diminished to such a state.

Merry and Pippin went into the cell and helped Fatty up. They were able to walk him out of his cell and outside into the fresh air and sun. It was rather cold, and Frodo gave him his cloak. Merry and Pippin helped him over to a patch of grass and he sat down. Estella sat herself beside him.

Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam all went back into the prison and freed all of the others, though Estella did not pay attention to who they were. She sat silently next to her brother and stared down at the grass, wishing and hoping that Fatty, or Freddie as she would probably have to start calling him, would be all right.

The prisoners were soon all out of the Lockholes, and friends and family came and escorted them home. Pippin walked his pony over to Estella and Freddie. "Fa- er, Fredegar? Freddie? Do you think you can ride?" he asked.

Freddie nodded. "I'll ride." Pippin, with the help of Merry and Sam, got Fredegar mounted onto the pony and Pippin sat behind him.

"Sam and I are going back to the Cotton farm," Frodo announced, as he and Sam mounted their ponies.

"Pippin and I are going to take care of the rest of the ruffians, right after we deal with Fredegar," Merry said.

"What about me?" Estella said.

"We won't leave you behind," Freddie said in a faint voice. "You'll look after me, won't you?"

Estella nodded. "Yes. Yes, of course!" She suddenly felt a hand take her by the arm and she was brought over to the only pony that didn't yet contain a rider. "Merry, do you always have to _drag_ me every time you want me to go somewhere?" she demanded.

"Well, if I asked you then you probably wouldn't obey," he replied. He helped her onto the pony and got behind her. "Sorry you're stuck with me. I'm going to hate this ride as much as you are."

The ponies started to walk; Frodo and Sam going in one direction towards the Cotton farm, and Pippin, Freddie, Merry, and Estella going in another, headed for Budgeford. They couldn't ride as fast as would be desired because of Freddie. Freddie seemed to be in shock and barely spoke, and he didn't eat when food was offered to him. Estella worried about him.

It was getting later and it would be night soon. "We'll have to stay somewhere for the night," Pippin said. "But all of the inns are closed or destroyed. We'll have to find someone who will take us in."

"I would to hate to impose myself upon strangers," Merry said. "Since Freddie is in the state that he's in, I'm sure anyone will be willing to offer hospitality to him. But I don't know if they would be willing to put up with four of us. Pippin, you and Freddie can find a house to spend the night at, and I'll ride to his parents' home to tell him that everything is fine and that he'll be coming to them shortly. They'll probably want news of their son right away."

"Excuse me," said Estella, "but what about me?"

"Well, I hope you won't mind some more time in the saddle," was all he said.

They rode off, this time at a much faster pace, and Estella didn't speak for a while. He could have at least asked her if she was willing to keep on riding. He seemed to have no consideration for her whatsoever.

Merry finally broke the silence. "Why are you so silent? Are you angry with me and are sulking?"

"I didn't know you wanted to talk," she said coolly.

"Only if you feel like it."

"Well," she said, "I would like to hear about what you've been doing all year while you were away. You know you'll have to tell me sooner or later."

"All right. I'll tell you bits and pieces for now. There isn't time to tell you much and some of things that happened are things you don't need to hear. I'll just tell you about the good things."

She was about to protest and say that she could handle hearing about everything, but she stayed silent. What he had to say would be better than nothing.

Throughout the ride, Merry told her about the different places he had seen and the people he had met. He told her about Rivendell and Lothlorien, and Rohan and Gondor, and briefly mentioned a couple of other places. He didn't go into detail about those places he briefly mentioned. She assumed that things had happened there that he didn't want her to know about.

Then he talked about the people he had encountered. He told her all about the fellowship. The two men named Aragorn and Boromir, the dwarf named Gimli, the wizard Gandalf, and the elf named Legolas. He quickly mentioned the death of Boromir but didn't tell her how he died. She didn't ask.

He had met so many interesting people and Estella wished she could have seen them. He continued to go on about Galadriel the elf queen of Lothlorien, Treebeard the ent, Faramir the Captain of Gondor who was now Prince of Ithilien, and Theoden the king of Rohan and his niece and nephew Eomer and Eowyn.

Merry spoke very fondly of Theoden, Eomer, and Eowyn, and Estella figured that they had been quite close. It must have been hard for him to part with them. First he told her all about Eomer and his sister Eowyn, who had been taken in by their uncle when their parents had died and had both taken part in the Battle of the Pelennor Fields.

"She could wield a sword?" Estella asked in amazement, when Merry had told her about Eowyn.

He nodded. "She was a shield-maiden. She disguised herself as a man and went to war when she wasn't supposed to, and she ended up saving Minas Tirith."

"Wow," said Estella. "She must be really brave."

"Actually, she did it because of her own unhappiness. She wanted to go to battle because she wanted to d-" He broke off. "Never mind. She's happy now. She's now a healer and is married to Faramir."

Last of all, he spoke of Theoden, and Estella noticed the sadness in his voice as he talked about the old king. He had lost his only son and when he met Merry, Merry had sort of become a replacement son to him. The way Merry talked about him, Theoden sounded like a great and amazing person. She assumed he sounded so sad when he spoke about him because he hadn't wanted to leave him but knew he had to go back to the Shire.

"I wish I could meet him," she said.

"I wish you could have too," he said. "But it's too late for that now."

"What do you mean?"

He was quiet for a few seconds. "He fell in battle."

"I'm so sorry!" Estella cried. _Wait a minute! Am I actually feeling sympathy for him?_ For a split-second, she had almost wanted to give him a hug and tell him it was all right. She sat straight and stiffly in the saddle so she wouldn't touch him.

"It's all right," he said. "Most of the sadness has gone away now. I do my best not to forget him." He was silent for a minute or two and then said, "I think we're almost there. Not much farther now."

Well that was good news. Estella was tired of sitting in the saddle. It was completely dark now. Her parents would probably still be awake though. They often went to bed late.

Suddenly, the pony put its ears back and made a noise that sounded as if something was wrong. Merry stopped the pony and dismounted. "What you are-" Estella started to say, but he shushed her. "Stay here! Don't move!"

"But-"

"Don't ask questions and do as I say! Don't move from off of that pony!"

He wouldn't say anymore and walked cautiously forward. He drew his sword and held it out in front of him. It gleamed in the dark and Estella wondered what was going on. Was there any danger out there?

"Your leader is dead, you know," Merry called out. "Sharkey is gone!"

Estella peered out into the darkness and saw two ruffians standing in the road. She looked to see if there were any more, but there fortunately appeared to be only two. She could hear one of the ruffians speaking but he was too far away and she couldn't catch what he said.

Merry tightened his grip on his sword. "Leave the Shire and don't ever come back. If you don't cooperate, we'll have to do this the hard way, and it will most likely end badly for you."

Estella stared at Merry and saw him in the same way that she had during the Battle of Bywater. He wasn't simply Meriadoc Brandybuck, hobbit of the Shire. He was Master Holdwine, knight of Rohan.

One of the ruffians started to retreat, but his companion pulled him back. "We can deal with him!"

"I would hate to use physical force on you," Merry said calmly. "But if you don't clear off then it will come to that."

The ruffian who thought he could "deal with" Merry whipped out a dagger. "Then so be it!" The other ruffian brought out a dagger also.

Estella watched them and felt the need to do something. It was two against one. Merry knew what he was doing and probably had more battle experience than they did, but she didn't want anything to happen to him. She quietly slipped off of the pony's back and grabbed a couple of rocks. They weren't too heavy and she took one in her hand and swung her arm back.

Aiming for the ruffian closer to her, she sent the rock flying through the air. She thought it was going to miss him entirely, but before he could do anything, it struck him on the arm, causing him to drop his dagger. Estella threw another rock. It hit him on the bottom of the shin.

Merry turned around. "Estella! What do you think you're doing? Stay out of this!"

But Estella stepped forward. "I'm not letting it be two against one!"

The ruffian who hadn't been hit with the rocks laughed harshly. "The little lady thinks she can fight us!" While he was busy laughing, with lightning speed, Merry used his sword to knock the dagger out of the ruffian's hand and then picked the dagger up and tossed it out of the way. He pointed the tip of his sword at the ruffian, close enough to draw blood.

"Leave this place now!"

"Let's go," muttered the ruffian who had been hit with the rocks. He and his companion took off and disappeared. Merry picked up their daggers and tucked them into his belt. Estella continued to look at him. She was impressed with how he knew exactly how to handle things. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

He walked over to her. "You shouldn't have done that. If you got hurt in any way, your parents would probably kill me." He paused. "But thank you. I hate to say it, but you were actually helpful." She didn't say anything and he helped her back onto the pony and sat behind her. They set off for her home.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

At last, Merry and Estella arrived in the village of Budgeford and rode up to the Bolgers' hole. They dismounted the pony and Merry went up to the hole and knocked on the door. The woman who answered it looked at the two of them, and her eyes fell on Estella and widened in surprise. "Estella?"

"Hello, Mother," she said.

"Estella, where were you?" Mrs. Bolger demanded. "Your father and I have been wondering where you were all day."

Estella looked down at the ground and fidgeted slightly. "Well... I went to Bywater. And then Hobbiton."

"Bywater? But why? Why didn't you tell us?"

"She was visiting friends," Merry said matter-of-factly. Estella was shocked. He was actually on her side for once. She thought he would gladly do his best to get her in trouble with her parents.

Mrs. Bolger looked at him. She stared for a few moments, taking in the armor that he wore and the sword that was sheathed at his side. Estella was amused to see a look of alarm in her mother's face. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Merry Brandybuck," he replied. "I've brought your daughter back to you, so you need not worry anymore."

"Oh yes, Merry Brandybuck," Mrs. Bolger repeated. "But wait... Didn't you disappear for a year and everyone believed you to be dead?"

"Well, this proves that rumors are often lies," Merry replied. "As you can see, I'm back."

"Well I'm glad of that," she said. "I believe I may have seen you around before, though I am sure I have never made your acquaintance. You were a friend of my son's?" Her voice became quiet and sad as she mentioned Freddie.

Merry nodded. "And speaking of your son, you'd better let us inside quick so I can tell you the news."

He had sparked her interest. "What? What is it? Is it about Fredegar?" She let them inside the hole and shut the door. They followed her into the sitting room and she sat down on a sofa and sat herself down on a comfortable chair. "Do you have news of my son?" she asked quietly. "The last thing I heard was that he was arrested. What's happened to him?"

"Fredegar is safe," Merry said. The worry in Mrs. Bolger's face instantly disappeared. "Yes, he was in the Lockholes prison and is very weak and is unable to walk on his own, but he's safe. My friends and I rescued him today. My cousin Pippin will be bringing him here tomorrow."

"Rosamunda, I hear voices. Do we have visitors?" Mr. Bolger walked into the sitting room and he immediately spotted his daughter. "Estella! Where were you?"

"Never mind that," said Mrs. Bolger. "Estella was in Bywater and Hobbiton, and this young man brought her back." She gestured at Merry. "And he has told me that our Freddie has been rescued from prison and is safe!"

"Fredegar," Mr. Bolger said softly to himself. A smile was on his face. "But where is he? Is he coming home?"

"Yes," said Merry. "He should be here tomorrow, probably late in the day. They have to go slow because of him. He's still weak from what he endured in the Lockholes."

"This is wonderful," said Mr. Bolger. "Both my son and daughter are safe." He looked at Estella. "But Estella, you have not introduced me to your friend."

Estella could not hide a look of disgust on her face. She felt like vomiting. _Friend?_ She would rather spend a year in the Lockholes than admit to Merry being her 'friend'."

Merry bowed to Mr. Bolger. "Merry Brandybuck."

"Well I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Brandybuck," said Mr. Bolger. If he was surprised at the armor and weapons Merry had on, he didn't show it. "You have brought my wife and I great happiness today. You really must spend the night. I'm sure you're tired."

Estella looked at her father with wide-eyed panic. Spend the night? She didn't want Merry to spend the night in her home. It was like welcoming an enemy into your territory. Why couldn't he just leave, and be quick about it?

"Thank you," said Merry. "All the inns are closed down and I was wondering where I would stay for the night. But since you've offered me your hospitality, I'll be glad to accept it." He glanced at Estella, a wicked look in his eyes. He knew how furious she was at having him in her house.

"Very good," said Mr. Bolger.

"My pony will need to accept some of your hospitality also," Merry said. "He's just outside the house."

"I will have the stable boy take care of him then." Mr. Bolger disappeared.

Mrs. Bolger got up from her seat and straightened out her skirts. "I'm sure you two are hungry. We already had supper but I'm sure there is something in the kitchen you could have. You just stay right here." She disappeared, leaving Estella and Merry alone.

Estella wouldn't look at him. It was bad enough that he was spending the night. She wanted as little to do with him as possible.

Mrs. Bolger came back into the sitting room. "If you can go into the small dining room, then Bell will serve you tea and biscuits."

Estella got up and led Merry to the small dining that was used when it was just the family dining, or if they had only one or two guests. The large dining room was for when they had a lot of company. They sat down at the table, Estella sitting far away from Merry, and Bell the cook came in and served them.

They ate and drank in silence, and then Mr. Bolger came and showed Merry to his room. Without saying goodnight to each other, Merry and Estella parted and Estella went to her own room, glad to be away from him.

It was now quite late and she was tired. She opened up the bottom drawer of her bureau to get a nightgown to change into. To her dismay, all of her nightgowns had been taken away to be washed. All except for one. The only remaining nightgown hadn't needed to be washed because she never wore it. It had been given to her a year ago by a cousin or aunt or some relative. The reason she had never worn it was because it was low-cut, very low-cut. Estella had too much modesty to even think of wearing such a revealing article of clothing.

She didn't have a choice though. She took the nightgown out of the drawer and changed into it, putting her dress and other clothes into a stool. The ridiculously low neckline of her nightgown made her feel uncomfortable, and she quickly crawled into bed and covered herself up with a blanket. She was soon fast asleep.

In the very early hours of the morning, she woke up. It was an odd thing that happened to her frequently. She would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning, and then would fall back asleep shortly afterward. She didn't know why she did that.

She lay in bed for a while, waiting for sleep to come. But it didn't. As hard as she tried, she just couldn't get back to sleep. Maybe something to eat would help her sleep. She got out of the bed and crept through the house, taking care not to be noticed or heard.

The sun was just starting to come up. She lit a candle anyway, just in case she managed to trip over something and alerted her parents.

She was almost at the kitchen when she almost walked right into a moving shape that had just turned a corner and appeared out of nowhere.

"Merry, what are you doing up?" she hissed.

"What are _you_ doing up?" he whispered back.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Well I needed to go to the privy." He wasn't wearing his armor and sword now, and he looked just like the Merry she had known before he left. His shirt was unbuttoned halfway and she was realized that she was staring. She looked away.

As Estella held her candle out in front of her, it cast light over both of them and she realized something horrible. To her dismay, she remembered the low neckline of her nightgown and a red blush crept into her face. Why did that neckline have to be so low and utterly revealing? Merry was taller than her and could probably see everything.

Merry noticed her embarrassment and could probably guess what was causing it. Yes, he _could_ see everything, but he wasn't going to let her know that.

She could feel his eyes on her and had a feeling he had seen what no innocent lad should have seen. She quickly moved the candle out of the way so its glow didn't illuminate her so much. "Well, um, I must be going!" And before he could stop her, she turned around and fled back to her room, not caring if she made any noise. Once she had her candle blown out and her blankets pulled over her, she tightly shut her eyes and tried to empty her mind.

_Curse that nightgown!_ she thought furiously. Just when she was beginning to think that Merry might turn out to be all right, something had to happen that made her hate him again.

She lay there for a long time, completely forgetting her plan of using food to help her sleep. As long as Merry was around, she was never leaving her room in a nightgown ever again. She finally fell asleep again and slept through the morning with no more awakenings.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

When she got up the next morning, the first thing Estella did was change out of the awful nightgown and put on a dress that completely covered up every bit of her. She wasn't ever going to let Merry be able to look down her dress ever again.

She went into the small dining room for breakfast and sat as far from Merry as she could get. She hoped he would leave right away.

She was silent throughout the whole meal. Her parents happily chatted with Merry, and to her utter disgust, they seemed to really like him. She didn't know what they saw in him. If only they could see the way he treated her when they weren't around.

She ate quickly and immediately asked to be excused from the table. "Well, Estella, wouldn't you want to entertain your guest?" her father asked.

Estella felt like flinging tea in his face. She turned to Merry. "Well you're leaving soon, right? You won't stay around here much longer."

"Oh, so you're trying to get rid of me," he said, pretending to sound hurt. He laughed though. "I really should be going. There are still a lot of ruffians to get rid of."

"Get rid of?" Mrs. Bolger echoed.

"Well, yes," he said innocently. "Didn't you hear about the Battle of Bywater? Seventy ruffians were killed and the rest were driven away. But there are still a lot more lurking around and they'll have to be dealt with."

"I believe I heard something about a battle yesterday," said Mr. Bolger, "though it completely slipped my mind until now. Unbelievable. A battle in the Shire. What is the world coming to?"

"Yes, an actual battle in the Shire," said Estella. "Horrible, isn't it? And Merry is the one who took command of it. The battle would have never happened if it wasn't for him. He even killed the ruffian leader himself."

Merry gave her a look that would have been a glare, but he didn't want her parents to see him openly glowering at their daughter.

Estella laughed silently to herself. Her parents probably wouldn't want Merry in their house anymore after what she told them. She looked at their faces and saw that they were a bit shocked, though they did their best to conceal it.

Her parents were very respectable and proper and did not approve of anything out of the ordinary. They were strong believers in "hobbit sense" and felt that no hobbit should do things that were unusual for hobbits to do.

Mr. Bolger took a long gulp of tea. "Ah. So you're um, you're a type of solider then, are you, Merry? That's why you wore that armor and the sword." He said that last word rather hesitatingly, as if afraid to speak of such a thing.

"Actually, I'm a knight of Rohan," Merry said cheerfully.

"Rohan?" said Mrs. Bolger. "I can't say I've ever heard of that place before."

"It's a land far away, the land of the horse lords," Merry explained. "I was the king's esquire, and then I was later made a knight because of my bravery in battle."

"I see," said Mr. Bolger, trying to sound as calm and normal as possible. "A knight."

Estella desperately wished she could laugh out loud at her parents' reactions. They hadn't expected to house a knight of Rohan in their home.

"Well, I think I had better take my leave of you," said Merry. "I just have to get fully dressed-" He was talking about his armor, "-and get my pony."

"I will have the stable boy get the pony ready then," said Mr. Bolger. "And you can get ready yourself." He got up from the table and went outside. Merry went into the room he had slept in and came out wearing his green and white outfit and the armor with the horse on the breastplate. His sword was at his side and Mrs. Bolger eyed it rather fearfully.

Mr. Bolger came back inside the house. "Well, Merry, you may leave whenever you wish."

"I will do that then," he said. "It was nice meeting you and your wife."

"Farewell," said Mrs. Bolger. Merry went outside and Mrs. Bolger gave her daughter a little push. "Well go outside and say goodbye to him. You don't want to be rude."

Estella held back a sigh and did as she was told, though she longed to run off to her room. She opened up the front door and stepped outside. Merry was about to mount his pony. "What are you doing out here?" he asked her.

"I live here," she replied. "I may do whatever I like. My mother forced me to come here and say goodbye to you." There was an awkward silence. "So goodbye."

He was on the pony now. "Goodbye." He looked down at her. "You know, that really was some impressive rock throwing. You could take out a whole army that way if you practiced!" And then he rode away and was gone. Estella realized that she was watching him as he gradually became smaller and smaller, and hastily turned her head away and ran back into the house. He was gone at last. Good riddance.

She looked at her parents and saw that they were walking away together, probably to have a talk. Estella was very amused at the fact that her parents were rather intimidated by Merry. Once she was sure her parents were gone and out of earshot, she let out a shrill giggle. Their reactions had been just so funny. Once she gotten every bit of laughter out of her system, she went into her room and stayed there until it was time for second breakfast.

x-x-x

"Well, he was a very... _interesting_ young man," said Mr. Bolger. He and his wife were in the tea room sipping hot cups of Bell's superb tea. "I must say I have never seen a hobbit in armor. And with weapons. Very un-hobbitlike. I'm surprised his parents allow that."

"Yes, I did receive a bit of a shock when Estella said he was the one who had brought about that battle," said Mrs. Bolger. She took a sip of tea and her face took on a worried expression. "Odovacar, you don't think he and our daughter are, well, _interested _in each other, do you?"

"It didn't seem like it," her husband replied. "If he was courting her than I think we would have met him earlier."

Mrs. Bolger nodded. "You're right."

Mr. Bolger poured some more tea into his cup. "I still like Mr. Brandybuck. I like him very much. I just don't know if I would want him involved with our daughter."

Mrs. Bolger nodded again. "Yes, I agree. I must say that I'm a bit relieved. I don't know what I would do if I had a knight for a son-in-law."

x-x-x

Later that day, a pony rode up to the Bolger home. Seated on the pony were two people: one was a hobbit dressed in black and silver, and the other was a thin hobbit who had his eyes closed.

Estella ran out of the house and bounded over to them. "Fatty!" In her excitement at seeing her brother, she had reverted back to his old nickname.

"Hello, Estella!" said Pippin. "I've brought your brother back, just as promised."

"Do you want to come in?" Estella asked.

Pippin shook his head. "There's a lot to do. Frodo and Sam expect me back at the Cotton farm, and then Merry and I will have to chase away the rest of the ruffians. I'll help you get Freddie into the house though." He got down from his pony and, with Estella's help, gently eased Freddie down and walked him over to the doorstep. Estella noticed her brother wasn't quite as weak as he was the day before. That was a good sign.

He smiled at her. "Hello, Estella."

Estella opened the door and she and Pippin got Freddie inside and sat him down in a soft chair. "I'll get my parents," Estella said. She noticed that Pippin wasn't wearing his armor or sword. She had seen him leave his sword on the pony, and knew that he had left his armor behind at the Cottons'. That was good. She didn't want her parents to be startled by another sword-wielding, armor-clad hobbit.

She quickly found her parents and said to them with a huge grin on her face, "There's somebody here who I'm sure you would like to see."

Mr. and Mrs. Bolger followed her into the sitting room where Freddie was. Her mother cried his name and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh, Freddie! You're home!"

Her son nodded. "I'm home." He looked around the room fondly. "It's good to be back."

Mrs. Bolger let go of him and stared. He was so thin. And he had scars on his arms and face. What had those awful ruffians done to him? At least he seemed like he was going to be all right.

"Well, I'm glad to bring about this happy reunion," Pippin remarked cheerfully.

"So are we," said Mr. Bolger. "And we thank you."

"You're welcome." Pippin bowed. "Peregrin Took, at your service."

"Thank you, Mr. Took," said Mr. Bolger. "We are grateful to you and Mr. Brandybuck for rescuing Fredegar and bringing him back."

"Oh, it was nothing," said Pippin. "I'm sorry I'm unable to stay here longer, but I really must go." He opened up the door and waved. "I'll see you later, Estella!"

"Goodbye!" Estella called out. Pippin swung up onto his pony and rode away. The Bolger family was complete now.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Three days later, Freddie was able to walk across his bedroom on his own. His sister and parents had been helping him for hours on end, trying to get his strength back. He still did not have much of an appetite and still had horrible dreams about the Lockholes, but he would be all right.

He was sitting in a chair in front of the fire, watching the bright flames as they danced around and crackled. Estella came in. "Hello," she said. "Are you feeling well?"

"Better than I did four days ago," her brother replied.

Mrs. Bolger came into the room. "Estella, you have been caring for your brother for three whole days now. I think you should have a rest."

"I don't mind," Estella said. "I don't have anything better to do and I _want_ to help Freddie."

"I know you do, but you've barely slept these past days. Your father and I will take over from you for a bit. Why don't you go take a walk outside? It's been unusually warm since yesterday. You had better enjoy it while you can before the extremely cold weather comes."

Estella sighed. "If you insist." She didn't feel like arguing with her mother that day. After trying to get some tea down her brother, she opened up the door of the hole and went outside.

x-x-x

"So how long do you think it will take to get rid of all the ruffians?" Pippin asked.

"Not long," Merry replied. "I don't think it takes much to scare them off." He and Pippin were riding through the Shire, searching for any ruffians they would have to drive out of the Shire. They were patrolling the Eastfarthing that day and were about to pass by the village of Budgeford.

They rode on in silence for a couple of more minutes, until Pippin unexpectedly asked, "Merry? Why are you so mean to Estella?"

Merry was a little taken aback at the question. "Mean to her? What are you talking about? She's the one who's awful to me."

"And you treat her every bit as horribly," Pippin said. "I just don't understand what it is between you two. Why can't you just get along?"

"I don't know," Merry confessed. "Things have always just been the way they are now. We've always been enemies. I don't even know what started it. I don't think we'll ever get along. She's just so bratty and immature."

"Well, maybe she'll change," Pippin said. "I think she's less of a brat than she was before. And she is maturing. She's become more mature ever since what happened to Freddie. I dropped by her house the day before to check on Freddie and her mother told me that Estella has been completely devoted to him and hasn't left his side."

"Well..." Merry started to say, but couldn't think of anything. "So?"

"So she's taken on responsibilities. She's being unselfish."

Merry sighed. "What are you getting at, Pippin? There has to be a reason for all of this. What is the purpose of pointing out all of Estella's so-called _good qualities_?" There was blatant sarcasm in his voice as he said the last two words.

Pippin chose his words carefully. "Well, I've just begun to wonder something. There could be some hidden purpose behind the hatred that you and Estella have. Why would you two put so much energy into hating each other? By doing that, you're paying an awful lot of attention to her and-"

"_What_?" Merry cried. "What are you saying, Pippin? Are you suggesting that I... that I _like _her? You've gone mad!"

"No need to get so defensive, Merry," said Pippin. "I believe I've struck a nerve then." He grinned at his friend wickedly.

"Just be quiet, Pippin. I hate her, and she hates me! Nothing is ever going to change that and nothing will ever make me or her think otherwise!"

Pippin did not say anything more on the subject, but he decided that he would keep a careful watch on his friend whenever he was around Estella.

x-x-x

Once she had started walking, Estella didn't want to stop. She wanted to just keep walking and never go back home. Her mother had been right. She did need a break.

She had been walking for quite a while now and suddenly heard the clopping of pony hooves. She realized that she had wandered onto the road and Merry and Pippin were riding towards her. She felt her body tense up. Great. Just what she needed. Her least favorite person in the world was going to interrupt her nice walk.

"Hello, Estella!" Pippin said amiably. He brought his pony to a halt and Merry did the same.

Estella stopped walking and stood there right in front of them on the road. "Hello," she mumbled.

Pippin leaned over and nudged Merry. "Say something nice," he whispered, so quietly that only Merry could hear.

_Why?_ Merry wanted to retort, but he didn't say anything to Pippin. He looked down at Estella. "Um... I'm glad to see you today, Estella." He looked at Pippin and then back at Estella. "Er... you look nice."

_What is he doing?_ Estella wondered. His sudden niceness couldn't possibly be sincere. She wondered what he wanted from her. "All right, Merry, what are you getting it? You're obviously pretending to be nice because of some hidden motive or prank that you have in mind." She folded her arms. "Just leave me alone today!"

"Well maybe I just felt like complimenting you today," Merry said hotly. "Now that I know how much that sort of thing offends you, I'll never do it again."

Estella was now confused. What did he mean? He wasn't planning something mean after all?

Merry wondered if Pippin was displeased with him for having a bit of an outburst like that. It was Estella's fault. Why did she always have to let out some rude comment every time he spoke to her? As he looked at her he saw that her eyes were no longer smoldering but only looked confused instead. He hated admitting it, but she really did look pretty that day, and he was going to let her know, even if it made her mad.

"Estella," he said, "I'm not quite as mean as you think I am. Maybe I think you really do look nice. Because I think you do. You're beautiful."

Estella thought she was going to fall over and have a heart attack. Was this some crazy dream? She looked up into his face to see if he was lying, but he appeared sincere. Was he sick? Had something happened to him to make him act like this? She tried to think of something to say, but only blurted out, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't you understand human speech?" he said. He spoke slowly, as if she was some dimwitted troll. "I. Think. You're. Beautiful. Understand?" As he looked at her, he realized that he spoke the truth. Why hadn't he realized how pretty she was before? He continued to watch her. Maybe Pippin was right. Maybe she wasn't so bad. Maybe she _was_ maturing.

Estella felt her face go warm and knew she was probably blushing. Did this have anything to do with the incident that occurred when he spent the night at her home? The nightgown incident in which he had seen something that a lad shouldn't see? She desperately hoped not.

She shook her head. "I still don't understand."

Pippin rolled his eyes at his cousin. Merry was taking the niceness thing a little too far.

"Then I'll make you understand," Merry said.

Estella didn't want to hear it. This whole situation was disturbing her. Maybe none of it was real and she would suddenly wake up. She looked around nervously. "I really should go home now. My parents will be expecting me!" And without saying goodbye, she ran off as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran and ran, faster and faster, without even really knowing why.

She was almost home now. She felt a sharp pain in her foot and gasped as she fell to the ground. She had tripped over a tree root and there were grass stains on her dress. She didn't care and got up and kept running until she got to her hole. She flung open the door and flung herself onto her bed as soon as she entered her room.

x-x-x

Merry was still staring in the direction had Estella had taken off in. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," said Pippin. "Nothing at all. Estella was probably too afraid to let out her emotions and so she decided to run instead." He clapped Merry on the shoulder. "Well, you didn't do as horribly as I thought you would."

"Thanks a lot," Merry muttered.

"I had a feeling that this whole hatred business was only to cover up something else," Pippin said. "Something deeper."

Merry was outraged. "What? What are you talking about?"

"_I think you're beautiful!"_ Pippin said, in imitation of his cousin. "How long have you been denying that to yourself, Merry?"

"I've never denied anything like that," Merry said. "You shouldn't tease me just because I was trying to make peace with her and actually be nice for once."

Pippin laughed. "Make peace with her? Be nice? I'm sorry to say that it was more than that, Merry. You may deny it, but I think you're in love with Estella."

"Don't ever say that again!" Merry said. Without another word, he turned his horse around and rode off. Pippin wasn't worried. He would give Merry his space for a little bit and then he would catch up.

Merry was all confused. How exactly did he feel about Estella? All these years he thought he hated her. But maybe that's all it was. Maybe he only _thought_ he hated her. Maybe he was horrible to her and tortured her constantly because he didn't want to admit that he loved her. He didn't know what to think anymore. He was going to do his best to just forget about the whole thing.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Several days passed, and Mrs. Bolger began to notice a change in her daughter. She decided to confront her about it and knocked on the door of Estella's room.

"Who is it?" said Estella's voice.

"It's only your mother," said Mrs. Bolger. "May I come in?"

"Yes," said Estella. Mrs. Bolger opened up the door and stepped inside. Her daughter was sitting on her bed, looking out the window. Mrs. Bolger sat down on a stool. "Do you mind if we talk, Estella?"

Her daughter shook her head. "No. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well, I've noticed you've been acting a little different. You never leave the house anymore. I don't think you've set foot outside in days. And well, you've been quiet. It's very unlike you." She was used to Estella chatting all day long about various nonsense, and to see Estella silent was something that bothered her. "Is something the matter?"

"No," Estella said quickly. "Nothing at all. I just don't feel like leaving the house. It will be December soon enough and it's cold. And I... well, I just haven't had much to talk about. Now that Freddie is almost better, I haven't had much to do or say."

Her mother nodded, though she thought that Estella might not be telling her the whole truth. She knew her daughter well and knew Estella could possibly be making excuses. She didn't say anything though and stood up. "Well, if you say that everything is fine, then everything must be fine. I'll leave you now." And she was gone.

Estella was glad to see her mother go. She didn't know her behavior had been that obvious. Ever since her last encounter with Merry, things just weren't the same. She stayed shut up in the house all the time because she was afraid of meeting him. She didn't speak much because she was occupied with her confused thoughts.

Merry's behavior had been very odd. Did he really think she was pretty? If so, then why did he wait so long to tell her? It didn't make any sense. She kept thinking that it could all be part of a horrible prank that he and Pippin had devised, but she realized that it hadn't seemed like it. She had been so frightened of how she felt about it all that she just took off running. She was afraid to hear what Merry had to say.

He was her enemy. They had disliked each other for so long. It seemed impossible that things could ever change. But maybe they could...

She remembered how she had felt when she watched Merry in the Battle of Bywater. When she didn't know who he was. He had just been a stranger and she was in awe of him. Perhaps she had even loved him. It was a side of Merry that she had only seen a couple of times. There was actually a side of him that she loved. Were the other sides of him really so horrible? She wished she knew the answers to the hundreds of questions that she had, but she knew she could get no answers.

She spent the rest of the day in her room until it was time for supper. She sat at the table with her brother and parents and was glad that Freddie was able to sit at the dining room table with the rest of them. He was still terribly thin but he was slowly but steadily gaining more of an appetite.

"Estella, I'm going to do some shopping tomorrow," Mrs. Bolger said. "Do you want to come along?"

Estella knew her mother was trying to get her to leave the house. She hated doing what other people wished her to do. She played around with her fork. "I don't know."

"I'll let you buy something," her mother said. "Anything you want."

"Maybe," Estella said.

"You really should go, Estella," Mr. Bolger said. "You've been shut up in this place for days. Get some fresh air. Be social with people."

"We don't have to go shopping if you don't want to," Mrs. Bolger said. "Do you have any friends you wish to see? There's a lass about your age who has just moved with her parents into her aunt and uncle's home. I believe the girl's name is Azalea. Azalea Goold. Her family's home was destroyed by those horrible ruffians."

"I suppose I could meet her. Someday," Estella said, though the idea didn't seem overly appealing to her.

"Well whatever happened that Mr. Brandybuck?" Mrs. Bolger asked. She obviously wasn't going to give up. "What was his name? Merry? Have you seen him around lately?"

Freddie suddenly started to choke on the corn he was eating. He gulped down some water and Estella realized that he had choked because he was _laughing_.

"What is it, Freddie?" Mr. Bolger asked.

Freddie looked at his parents and looked about ready to start laughing again. "Don't you know about Merry and Estella?"

Mr. and Mrs. Bolger exchanged alarmed looks. Was there something going on between him and her daughter that they didn't know about?

"They completely _hate_ each other!" Freddie said. "Estella would rather sleep outside in a snowstorm with no clothes on than spend time with Merry Brandybuck!"

Mr. and Mrs. Bolger exchanged looks again, though this time they looked highly surprised. When Merry was over at their home, there seemed to be no hatred between him and their daughter. What did Freddie mean?

Mr. Bolger's face went from surprise to amusement as he gave his wife a look that seemed to say, "And we thought that they might have been courting!"

Estella stared down at her plate. Did Freddie really have to open his mouth and say that? What did her parents think?

"So," said Freddie, "what do you mean when you say 'what happened to that Mr. Brandybuck'? When was he here?"

"On the day before you arrived with Mr. Took, he spent the night here," Mr. Bolger explained.

Freddie grinned at his sister. "Poor Estella!"

"He seemed really nice though," said Mrs. Bolger thoughtfully. "I don't understand what he could possibly have against Estella."

"Um... it's nothing," said Estella. "We've just, er, never gotten along. Please don't hold that against Merry. Just because he isn't very fond of me doesn't mean he's a bad person." She set her fork down a little more forcefully than was necessary. "May we please not discuss this any further?"

"Well, if the subject bothers you-" Mrs. Bolger began.

"It does _not_ bother me!" Estella insisted. "I just don't feel like speaking about it anymore. May I please be excused?"

Estella was allowed to leave the table and she gratefully left the dining room as quickly as she could. She didn't want to talk about Merry. She didn't to hear other people talking about him either. If she ignored him and pretended he didn't exist, then maybe all her confused thoughts and feelings would go away.

She sat down on her stool and looked out the window. There wasn't much to see out there and so she lay down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

_Maybe I think you really do look nice. Because I think you do. You're beautiful._

Merry's words echoed in her head and she wished she could reach into her brain and pluck them out. As much as she tried not to think about him, it became more and more of an impossibility. What exactly had he meant by those words? Why did they affect her so much? It wasn't as if she had never heard anything like that before. Tons of lads had called her beautiful before. Some of them had made complete fools of themselves when ranting about her looks. Why should it be any different if Merry noticed her outward appearance?

She didn't like how she started to feel fluttery and trembly inside every time she thought of him. It frightened her. He was the enemy, and she couldn't forget that. She _wouldn't _forget that.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The next day, Mrs. Bolger managed to talk her daughter into leaving the house. Estella didn't want to rebel this time. She was too confused and her mind didn't have room for arguments. It was an unusually nice day, and Mrs. Bolger insisted that it was the perfect day for going out somewhere.

"We can visit the Goold home," she suggested. "Remember I told you about them? They live in a village on the edge of Bridgefields, which isn't far away at all. Maybe you and Azalea Goold could become friends."

And so Estella and her mother set off in their carriage, headed for the Goold home. They soon arrived and Mrs. Bolger politely knocked on the door. It was opened by a woman who Estella assumed was Mrs. Goold (though there were two of them; the mother and the aunt).

They were let inside the house and Mrs. Bolger introduced herself and Estella, though Estella barely listened to what was said. She didn't care much for visiting.

"I have a daughter about your age," Mrs. Goold said to Estella, which confirmed that this Mrs. Goold was the mother and not the aunt. "I think she would love to meet you. She hasn't really met anybody yet since we moved into my brother's home." She disappeared for a moment and soon reappeared with a girl. "This is Azalea. Azalea, this is Estella."

"Hello," Estella said, unable disguise her feelings of boredom.

"Hello, Estella," said Azalea. She was slightly shorter than Estella and had clear blue eyes and dark blonde hair. Estella marveled at her hair; it was of a color that was rare among hobbits.

"I'm sure you can find some way to entertain Estella," Mrs. Goold said to her daughter.

"Come along, then," said Azalea. She walked through the house and Estella followed, until they were in a comfortable sitting room. Azalea sat down in a chair and Estella sat down in the one by it. Estella felt awkward. What was she supposed to say to this girl?

Fortunately, Azalea had plenty to say. "So, do you like this part of the Shire? I think it's beautiful. But of course, every part of the Shire is beautiful, don't you think? Except for what those horrible ruffians destroyed. Aren't those Travelers just the bravest hobbits ever? I've heard so much about them. I've heard that two of them traveled to a fiery mountain and saved the whole world, and that the other two are knights!"

Estella nodded. "Yes. They're brave, I suppose. Frodo and Sam are two of the kindest hobbits I've ever met, and Pippin is fun to be around. Merry is... well..." She didn't want to talk about Merry. Azalea didn't seem to notice. She seemed to be in awe.

"You actually _know_ them?"

"Well, yes," said Estella. "I haven't known Sam long, but I've known Merry, Frodo, and Pippin almost my whole life."

"Amazing." Azalea's blue eyes were shining. "I wish I knew them! Now which one is which again? Was Frodo Baggins the one who went to the mountain?"

"Yes," said Estella.

"I've memorized all of their names, you know," said Azalea, blushing slightly. "Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuck. But you call Peregrin and Meriadoc Pippin and Merry?"

"Those are their nicknames," said Estella offhandedly. Azalea sure was talkative. Estella hadn't expected to have to answer so many questions. The other girl seemed to have some sort of obsessed fascination with the Travelers.

"Merry's about our age, you know," Azalea said. "Well, of course you know, silly me. You know him. But anyway, he's about our age and I heard that he drove away all the ruffians! I also heard that he's a knight and has armor and everything." Her eyes were shining even brighter. "I think that's wonderfully romantic!"

Estella wanted to start laughing and never stop until her heart gave out. Merry? Romantic? If only Azalea knew.

"So is Merry really as great as I've heard he is?" Azalea asked eagerly.

"Well, um... we don't really get along very well. I cannot say."

"Oh. Well that's too bad. Why don't you get along? You're lucky that you know him. I wish I could meet him, but I would probably blush and stutter and make a fool of myself. I bet he's really handsome and nice and would do anything to defend a young lady." She giggled slightly.

Estella was ready to be sick. This girl was starting to get on her nerves. And for some reason, she didn't like the way she was talking about Merry. It gave her a sick, almost angry feeling. Luckily, she was saved by her mother and Mrs. Goold, who came into the room.

"Estella?" said Mrs. Bolger. "Are you ready to leave? We really should be going. It will be time for the mid-day meal soon and we can't be late."

Estella stood up a little more quickly than was necessary. "Yes. I'm ready."

"It was so nice to meet you," said Mrs. Goold. "We're lucky to have neighbors like you." She turned to Estella. "And we hope you stop by to visit some time soon. Azalea really does love company and doesn't get enough of it."

Estella nodded, though she wasn't looking forward to seeing Azalea again. She felt horrible for thinking that, but it was the truth.

"Yes, Estella, I hope you come back!" said Azalea cheerfully. "I enjoyed your company so much!" Estella avoided the other lass's rapturous blue eyes. She almost felt a little sorry for her. She assumed it must be hard to move to a different area and not know anyone.

"Mother, Estella and I had such a wonderful talk!" Azalea was saying to Mrs. Goold. "She knows the Travelers!"

Mrs. Goold shook her head and looked at Mrs. Bolger. "She really admires those four Travelers that went away for a year and saved the Shire. I can't imagine why. Over the years, Azalea has been probably been hearing more stories and tales than are good for her and these four young men have become her heroes."

"Of course they're my heroes," said Azalea. "They drove the ruffians away. The ruffians destroyed our home and they _deserve_ what they got!"

Estella couldn't help but sympathize with her. If she had lost her home because of the ruffians then she would deeply admire the Travelers too.

"Well, come along now, Estella," said Mrs. Bolger. They both said farewell to Azalea and Mrs. Goold, and got into their carriage and drove home.

x-x-x

When they were seated around the dining room table for the mid-day meal, Mrs. Bolger said to her daughter, "So, what do you think of Azalea?"

"Well..." said Estella slowly, "she's certainly very talkative."

Mrs. Bolger nodded. "Well that's good. She'll keep a lively stream of conversation then. She really seems to be taken with those friends of Freddie's."

Freddie looked up from his plate. "What's this about Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam?"

"Oh, we met a girl today, Azalea Goold, and she really admires your friends," his mother replied. "You know, Estella, I think it would be nice if you and brother introduced them to her."

Estella wanted to groan but didn't. "I suppose we could do that. But would they want to meet her?"

"I'm sure they would," Mrs. Bolger said. "Don't you think so, Odovacar?"

"I don't see why not," her husband replied.

"See, Estella. There wouldn't be anything wrong with it," Mrs. Bolger said. "You know you would make Azalea very happy. The poor lass lost her home and she needs all the friends she can get. Freddie, do you know where your friends will be in the next couple of days?"

"I think Merry and Pippin have taken care of most of the ruffians," he answered. "So I think they won't be busy. Frodo and Sam are staying at a farm and I'm sure they could spare some time."

"Wonderful," said Mrs. Bolger. "Maybe you and Estella could take Azalea with you somewhere and meet- what are their names again?"

"Frodo, Pippin, Merry, and Sam," Freddie supplied. He nodded. "Yes. I wouldn't mind doing that. What about you, Estella? Do you think you can handle possibly spending time around Merry?"

Estella longed to fling her potato right in his face. "That doesn't matter. Now be quiet!"

"Now, don't be unkind, Estella," Mrs. Bolger scolded lightly. "Well, it's settled then. You may go and see Azalea tomorrow."

Sometimes Estella wished her mother wasn't so kind and hospitable.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

The very next day, Estella found herself seated beside Azalea in their carriage, with Freddie driving. Her brother was now able to go out and about, as long as he didn't overexert himself. He was still very thin and pale but was looking a little better every day.

Azalea was glad to have company and chatted on happily, though it was mostly to herself. Estella only put in a short word or two every once in a while, as she was only half-listening. She hoped Azalea left her alone once they arrived at the Cotton farm.

When they pulled up to the farm, Freddie got down and went up to the house, while Estella and Azalea stayed in the carriage. Freddie would first have to find out if the Cottons wouldn't mind having visitors.

The door opened and it was opened by a hobbit who Estella explained was Frodo Baggins. Azalea looked him in wonder. Frodo and Freddie talked for about a minute or so and then they both walked over to the carriage.

"Hello, Estella!" said Frodo. "Mrs. Cotton and Rosie are at the market and her brothers are all out, so the house is quite empty. I'm sure Farmer Cotton wouldn't mind any visitors."

Estella and Azalea got out of the carriage and followed Frodo and Freddie to the house. "So you're Frodo Baggins?" Azalea said to Frodo, sounding impressed. Frodo nodded.

"Frodo, this is Miss Azalea Goold," Freddie said. "She just moved to Bridgefields because her home had been destroyed by ruffians."

"I'm terribly sorry," Frodo said to her. "I wish my friends and I had arrived here sooner. So much was lost because of those ruffians and we could have stopped it sooner if we hadn't spent so much time dawdling on the way home."

"Don't blame yourself, Frodo," Freddie said. "There was no way you had of knowing what was going on."

"You're right," Frodo said. "Well, come on inside. Farmer Cotton is busy outside, so you don't need to feel like intruders." He led them up the narrow pathway and opened the door of the hobbit hole. Sam walked over to them immediately. "Mr. Frodo? What did you go outside for- Oh." He caught sight of the three visitors. "Hello, Mr. Freddie, Miss Estella."

"Hello, Sam," said Freddie.

"Then you're Samwise Gamgee!" said Azalea. "Did you and Frodo really go into the evil land of shadows?"

"This is Miss Azalea Goold," Fredegar explained to Sam. "She's heard about your exploits and has been looking forward to meeting you and the others."

Sam looked shocked, confused, and flattered all at the same time. "Well, er, nice to meet you, Miss Azalea."

"Well, let's go into the sitting room," Frodo suggested. "Azalea can meet Merry and Pippin."

"I think my hair ribbon may have fallen out and landed on the floor of the carriage," Estella said. "Don't mind me. You can just go on without me while I go look for my ribbon." It was a bit of a lie and she felt a little guilty for telling it, but she didn't think she could face Merry.

Freddie started laughing. "Estella, you were never wearing a hair ribbon! Don't try to make an escape, because I'll see through every one of your lies. Now come on." Frodo, Sam, and Azalea started to walk ahead, and Freddie and a reluctant Estella followed.

They all arrived in the sitting room, where Merry and Pippin were seated on chairs, wearing their armor as usual. Estella wondered if they ever took it off. Their swords and shields were in a corner. Mrs. Cotton probably wouldn't like that if she knew.

"Azalea, this is Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took," said Frodo, pointing at first Merry and then Pippin. "Merry, Pippin, this is Miss Azalea Goold. She's acquainted with Freddie and Estella and has been wanting to meet us all."

Azalea immediately bounced over to Merry and Pippin and started talking with them. Estella stayed away. She didn't care what they talked about. She stayed close to her brother and said very little.

"Estella! Estella, come here and talk!" Azalea was beckoning to her. Estella went over and sat down as far from Merry as possible. He didn't look at her, and she didn't look at him. Frodo, Sam, and Freddie all wandered away to have a conversation of their own.

"You looked rather bored over there, Estella," Azalea said. "You can join in our conversation."

Estella couldn't help feeling rather grateful to Azalea. It was true, she _was_ bored. She now felt absolutely terrible for finding Azalea a little on the annoying side. She just liked to chat a little too much, that was all.

"Merry and Pippin were telling me about some of the places they saw," Azalea told Estella.

Estella nodded. "I already heard about some of them."

"You did?" said Pippin. "When? I don't remember telling you about any of it yet. I never got a chance."

Estella blushed, though she didn't know why. She desperately wished she could hide it but she couldn't. "Well, um... on the day that Fredegar was rescued from the Lockholes, I kind of heard about parts of your travels."

"Why don't you just say that I told you about it?" Merry said. "Are you trying to pretend that I don't exist?"

Estella made a face at him. Why couldn't they ever just get along? She might as well give up hope. They would never get along with each other.

"I really like your armor, Merry," Azalea said, smiling at him. "I think it's amazing that you're a knight of Ro... Ro-"

"Rohan," he said.

"Yes, Rohan," she said. "I bet you've saved all sorts of people!"

Merry looked a little taken aback at this. "Well... I tried my best to save the Shire, though I couldn't prevent those nineteen hobbits from dying in the Battle of Bywater. I should have done something to prevent that."

"You're being hard on yourself, Merry," said Pippin. "You've done more good than harm. You defeated the ruffian leader and you scared away Bill Ferny and you helped destroy the Witch-King."

"Witch-King?" said Estella. "Who's that?"

Merry gave Pippin a warning look and shook his head. "Nobody. He's gone now. You don't need to worry about him." Estella could see what seemed to be a haunted look in his eyes as he talked about the Witch-King, but then it vanished. She wished she knew what had happened in that battle he had been in, the one he wouldn't talk to her about. He seemed to shut everyone out when it came to that subject.

Azalea started to speak again and Merry seemed back to normal. "I think you two are really brave," Azalea said.

"Well, Frodo and Sam have been brave too," Merry said. "They've probably done more than we have."

Pippin punched him playfully. "There you go being modest again, Merry! If someone gives you credit, then accept it!"

"You saved the Shire, Merry!" Azalea said. She was looking at Merry adoringly. Estella suddenly felt rather icy towards the other girl and wished she would just leave. She couldn't explain why she felt that way.

"I know the others helped," Azalea went on, "but the Shire was saved mostly because of you. I've heard all about everything you've done and I think you're wonderful." Merry didn't know how to respond to that and looked helplessly at Pippin.

"Well aren't I wonderful too?" Pippin asked, pretending to be jealous and trying to take some of the attention off of Merry.

"Of course," Azalea said. "I think you're all amazing. You've all done and seen so many things that I could never even dream about. I'm so glad that I've met you all and it's all thanks to Estella. If the two of us had never met, I would have never gotten to speak with any of you."

"Oh, it wasn't all because of me," Estella mumbled. "You probably would have met them sooner or later."

"Well, I see that Merry isn't the only overly-modest one around here!" said Pippin, laughing.

"Nonsense," said Estella. "He may be overly-modest, but I'm not."

"Admit it, Estella," said Merry. "You just don't want to have anything in common with me. Well I know how you feel. I would hate to be anything that has to do with you."

His words stung. Estella was confused. First he was telling her that she was beautiful and now he was insulting her. She just couldn't seem to understand him. "So do you mean that?" she asked. "Since compliments appeared to have scared me off, you've gone back to insults?"

"Enough, you two," said Pippin. "No fighting when we have a guest." He didn't understand why Merry had to go back to being horrible to Estella. He had said that he would try being nicer to her but it didn't seem like he was making any effort. Pippin stood up. "Estella, do you want to help me make some tea?" It would be better if he separated her from Merry before they started arguing again.

Estella got to her feet so quickly that she almost knocked over her chair. "Yes, I'd like that." Anything to get away from Merry. She followed Pippin into the kitchen.

Pippin wanted to speak to her, but he didn't know if he should dare. She looked so formidable at the moment that he was afraid to provoke her. He remained silent, and so did she.

After Pippin and Estella left, Azalea took the seat closest to Merry. Her blue eyes were excited as she looked at him. He fascinated her. She had been attracted to him before she even met him. "Well, I suppose we're alone for now," she said.

Merry noticed that she was now sitting quite close to him and was looking at him with an expression on her face that unnerved him a bit. "Um, yes."

"I really like you, Merry," she said. "I've never met anyone like you before."

"Well, you've just met me," he said. "You barely know me."

"That doesn't matter. You can really like a person after you've just met them. And I really like you a lot. I think you're amazing, and so brave. I admire you and what you've done for the Shire."

Merry hoped that Pippin and Estella would come back soon. Azalea's behavior was starting to bother him a bit. She was a nice girl, but he didn't understand why she seemed so captivated by him.

"I hope this isn't the last time I see you," Azalea said. "I must see you again! If I don't, I don't know what I'll do. I've never felt this way about anyone before, Merry."

Oh, where were Pippin and Estella? They would save him from this situation. Was Azalea actually infatuated with him? Why? And how? He looked away from her. "I don't understand, Azalea. What's so special about me? I'm sure you're just as fascinated by Pippin, Frodo, and Sam."

"Oh, I am," she said. "But they're just not like you. You're exactly what I think I've always been looking for."

At that moment, Pippin and Estella came back into the room, Estella with a tray in her hands. Pippin tried to keep back a laugh. "So, what have you two been up to while we were gone? I see you've gotten to know each other a little better."

Merry glared at Pippin. "We were only talking some more about the journey," he said.

"Well, the tea's ready," Pippin said. He gestured at the tray that was sitting on a little table.

When Estella had walked into the sitting room, she had had to set the tray down on the table immediately, as she was afraid she would drop it. The way Azalea was looking at Merry disturbed her. Why was she feeling like this whenever Azalea looked or spoke to Merry? What did it matter to her? She couldn't possibly be jealous. She hated Merry and would never be jealous over someone who liked him.

They all helped themselves to the tea and chatted some more. Azalea needed to use the privy and excused herself. When she was gone, Pippin said, "Azalea seems like a nice lass."

"She's all right," Merry said.

Pippin laughed. "She really seems to like you, Merry! A lot."

Merry looked away from him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you do. Have you seen the way she looks at you? I have sisters, Merry, and I know what it looks like when a girl likes a young man. She's obsessed with you."

Estella suddenly rose to her feet. She couldn't stand any more of this talk. "Um, I had better go see my brother and find out when we're leaving!" And she dashed out of the room.

"What is she so worked up about?" Merry asked.

Pippin took a sip of tea. "She's jealous."

Merry tried to laugh, though it sounded forced. "Jealous? That would never happen!" But was she? If so, then why? He knew perfectly well that she couldn't stand him. But he couldn't help thinking back to what Pippin had said about hate being only a cover-up.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Azalea returned from the privy and went back into the sitting room, where and Merry and Pippin were alone. "What happened to Estella?"

Pippin held back a smile. "She, um, went to talk to her brother."

"Oh." She sat back down next to Merry and poured herself some tea. "Well, I hope she comes back soon." She took a sip of tea. "I know I've said this before, but I'm just so glad that I've met you. I wish my life could be as interesting as yours are. I wish I could have seen and done all of the things that you did."

"You wouldn't want to experience all of those things," Merry said. "Be glad that you didn't go on the journey. Some of the things I've been through are too terrible to tell a young lady about."

"Really?" Her blue eyes were wide. "I'm sorry you had to go through those things then, even though I don't know what they are. Are you all right?"

Pippin hastily took a swig of tea in order to stifle his laugh.

Merry raised his eyebrows at Azalea. "Er, yes. I'm fine."

"Well I just wanted to be sure," she said. "I heard that your journey was really dangerous. I hope you didn't get hurt."

"He survived it, don't worry," said Pippin.

Azalea was now looking at Merry in concern. "Oh no, you_ did_ get hurt? How?"

"You don't need to know how," Merry said. "It has to do with things that someone as innocent as you shouldn't know about. You don't need to know anything of evil, or darkness. Don't worry about me. I completely recovered, I assure you."

"Recovered from what?" Freddie asked. He had just entered the room, along with Estella, Frodo, and Sam.

"Azalea was just concerned about Merry's encounter with the Witch-King and his fight against the Black Breath," Pippin said, a mischievous look in his eyes.

Freddie shuddered. "Please don't talk about that. Those Black Rider things still frighten me, even if they _are_ gone."

Estella's curiosity had been sparked and she was looking excitedly at her friends, forgetting all about her irritated feelings towards Azalea and Merry. "What happened? Who are the Black Riders and what's the Black Breath?"

Frodo shook his head. "No, Estella. It's too horrible for you to hear about."

Estella felt angry at Frodo, which in turn made her feel angry with herself since there was usually no reason to be upset with Frodo. He was the most gentlemanly hobbit she had ever met. But he had irritated her now. "Haven't any of you noticed that I'm mature enough to handle these things? I'm of age now, and I saw what the ruffians had done to the Shire! I've seen horrible things happen too, so you aren't the only ones!"

Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin all exchanged looks. "I think Estella's right," Pippin said. "I don't see why we're so against her hearing these things."

"Thank you, Pippin," Estella said. He was usually on her side, even though the others hardly ever were.

"Well, I suppose it would be all right," Frodo said. "We can discuss it later."

"Why not now?" Pippin asked.

Frodo looked at Pippin and then jerked his head towards Azalea. Pippin nodded and said no more on the subject.

Freddie looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. "Well, I think we should be going soon. Azalea's family probably won't want her staying out too long."

Azalea got to her feet and set down her teacup. "Oh, all right. But I can visit some time soon, right?"

"Of course," Frodo said. "We'll be happy to see you again."

"I'll be in the carriage," said Estella. "Goodbye, everyone." She left the room and went outside into the carriage. Nobody stopped her or commented on her eagerness to leave.

"Well, come Azalea," Freddie said.

"Goodbye, Azalea," said Pippin.

Azalea said goodbye to each of them, bidding farewell to Merry last of all, looking at him ardently. "It was so nice to talk to you, Merry. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met and I really hope to see you soon." She then followed Freddie out of the house and they got into the carriage.

"Well, Azalea seems quite interested in you, Merry," Frodo said with a grin.

"What do you mean? I'm sure she isn't," Merry insisted. "She can't possibly _like_ me that way. She just met me!"

"Oh, nonsense, Mr. Merry," said Sam. "I knew I was in love with Rosie when I first met her."

"Well I don't know what to do," Merry said. "I don't feel that way about her. But I can't tell her that because I don't want to upset her."

"You can always just explain to her that your heart belongs to another lass," said Pippin with a wicked look in his eyes.

Merry threw a pillow at him. "You had better not be talking about Estella! I don't care for her that way! Every single time we talk, we always argue. How can I love a girl who I can't even have a civil conversation with? We don't get along and we never will."

Frodo laughed. "Oh, you and Estella didn't always hate each other. I remember when you were just children and you got along fine. You started to fight with each when you entered the age when lads and lasses usually start to _notice_ each other. How funny."

Merry was now blushing furiously. "You've all gone mad. That's the only explanation."

"All right, Mr. Frodo, don't tease him," Sam said. "I know what it's like to be teased for liking a girl and-"

Now it was Sam's turn to get a pillow thrown at him. "I've told you all more than once! I don't like her!" Merry insisted.

"All right, we'll leave you alone, Merry," said Frodo, not wanting to get hit with a pillow. "Though next time there is a guest, please try to be nicer to Estella."

"I'll try," Merry said. "I'm not making any promises. Once again, I've been told to 'be nicer to Estella'. People have told me the exact same thing over and over again. Can't everyone just leave me alone about her?"

"I thought you were the one who didn't want to discuss it anymore," Pippin said. "Now it's you who is bringing the subject up again."

"Well, I wouldn't be talking about her if you weren't talking about her first," Merry said. "Now enough of this talk."

"All right, we'll discuss something else," Pippin said. "Though I agree and Frodo and I must give you this advice yet again. You really shouldn't be so horrible to Estella. She loves you, after all, and you're breaking her heart by-"

At those words, Merry got up out of his seat. "I have to use the privy!" He ran off and disappeared.

Pippin shook his head. "He and Estella are so much alike. They really are soul mates."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Merry had gone back to his own home after staying at the Cottons for another half hour. He didn't even bother hunting out ruffians that day. He had too much on his mind and just needed to be alone. He lay on his bed in his bedroom and stared up at the ceiling. He had never been so confused in his life before.

His friends kept insisting that he loved Estella, and that she loved him back. He kept telling himself it wasn't possible, but if it was so impossible, then where were his friends getting these ideas? He knew they wouldn't lie to him about something like that.

And then there was Azalea. She was clearly infatuated with him, though he didn't fully understand how. He didn't know much about her and wasn't sure if he could ever love her back. It had nothing to do with Estella of course. He kept telling himself that firmly. Azalea just wasn't his kind of lass and that was all.

He continued to just lay there and think. His mother came to the door and told him that tea was ready, but he refused to come out. His mother went away and no one else bothered him after that.

He thought back to everything that his friends had been saying to him. They kept pressing him to treat Estella in a kinder way. He was getting tired of hearing it. They weren't giving him advice, they were just telling him what to do and that wouldn't help. The only person who actually tried to advise him in the right direction was far away and she couldn't help him right now.

He remembered what Eowyn had said to him and thought it all over again. Maybe he should listen to her now. Her words now made more sense than they had when he had first heard them.

_Eowyn had recovered from her injuries and wasn't allowed to go fight at the Black Gate, and the days were long for her and she didn't have much to do. She hadn't yet met Faramir and spent long hours talking to Merry and finding out all she could about him. Learning about him helped draw her thoughts away from herself and her pain._

_She had asked him about his home and about all the people he knew. He told her all about Frodo and Pippin, and Sam and his Gaffer, and Fredegar and Estella. Eowyn noticed his tone was different as he spoke about Estella._

"_So was this young lady your love that you left behind?" she asked innocently._

_Merry stared at her in shock. "No! Not at all, it's nothing like that! We're not even exactly friends. She's only my friend's sister and she always used to insist on tagging along. We don't even get along with each other. We've always fought and argued nearly our whole lives."_

"_Oh," said Eowyn. She was studying his face carefully. "Well I'm sorry to hear that you don't get along. My brother never used to mind when I wanted to join in whatever he did. Of course, he never had many friends so I don't fully know what Estella was going through."_

"_Please don't sympathize with her," Merry said. "She hates me, and I dislike her just as much. I don't want to talk about her anymore."_

"_I'm sure you don't, but I think you should. You shouldn't have hatred for each other. You may not get along but try to understand each other better. Don't let those emotions build up. All the emotions I had pent up inside nearly destroyed me. I don't want the same to happen to you."_

_Merry was silent for a moment, taking in her words. "I know I should try to understand her, but I just get so angry with her sometimes, and I don't even know why. That's the part that bothers me. There's really no reason for me to treat her that way."_

"_There could be something more to it than you think," Eowyn said quietly, though Merry had no idea what she meant. Eowyn continued speaking. "Well, I don't know the whole story, and I don't want to lecture you, Merry, but when you return to your home I think you should make peace with Estella. Long absences can often make people forgive one another's faults and start afresh. You never know, she could be missing you and might be sorry for all the things she's done and said."_

"_Perhaps you're right," Merry said slowly. _

"_If I was her then I would be worried about you, regardless of everything," Eowyn said. "Think about it some more and maybe things will be different when you go back home."_

When Merry returned to the Shire, he had completely forgotten what Eowyn had told him. He hadn't followed her advice and never made an attempt to understand Estella. Things had started out badly when he first came in contact with her after the Battle of Bywater. There just wasn't a chance to remember a word that Eowyn had said.

Now that he thought about it, he found that he agreed with everything Eowyn said. She was probably right and he decided that he would try to heed her advice, even if it made Estella angry.

Maybe there was only a huge misunderstanding between them. Maybe he could fix things and make everything all right. He vowed that he would talk to her the very next day.

x-x-x

The next day, Merry rode to the Bolger home and knocked on the door. He knew what he was doing was bold and a little rash, but he didn't care. Mrs. Bolger opened the door in surprise. "Oh. Hello, Mr. Brandybuck! What brings you to our home?"

"May I see Estella please?"

Mrs. Bolger's face looked alarmed for one second but she quickly made her face blank. What Merry wanted with her daughter was none of her business. Just as long as he wasn't courting her. Mrs. Bolger feared that if he ever became involved with a lass, he would lead her all over Middle-earth and perhaps never return.

"Wait just a minute, I'll go and see if she can speak to you." She disappeared for a few minutes and then returned. "I'm terribly sorry. I forgot that Estella isn't here. I believe she is out with her cousin that visited today."

"Oh." He looked disappointed and Mrs. Bolger once again found herself wondering what he wanted to see Estella for. She hoped it wasn't anything important.

"Her cousin mentioned something about going to the market," she said, trying to be helpful. "Perhaps that is where they went."

"All right," said Merry. "Well, thank you anyway. I'll be leaving now." He walked away from the hole and got onto his pony and rode away.

He couldn't believe he was doing it, but he was actually going to the Bridgefields market to see if Estella was there. He decided that he had better get this over with as soon as possible before he lost his nerve.

He rode through the shops and stalls, looking around and attracting a few stares. He supposed he must really look like some warrior from a far-off land while he was in armor and mounted on a pony. He searched around but could see no one who resembled Estella. He turned his pony around and was about to leave when he got sight of two girls leaving a shop. One of them he didn't recognize, but the second one was Estella. He supposed the younger lass was Estella's cousin.

The shop was all the way on the other side of the market but he could still recognize Estella even though she was far away. He got down from his pony, tied it up, and started to walk towards the shop. It was now or never.

"Merry! Is it really you?"

Merry turned around and saw none other than Azalea standing by a stall. She ran over to him. "I'm so glad to see you! Oh my goodness, I never knew I would see you again so soon. This is too good to be true. So what are you doing here in Bridgefields? I thought you lived in Buckland." Her blue eyes were wide and excited and she looked so happy that Merry couldn't just walk away from her.

"I'm, uh, just passing through," Merry said. "I'm just here for no special reason."

"Well this is wonderful," she said. "I hope you don't mind if I join you. I'm just so overjoyed at seeing you and there are so many things I'd love to do and talk about." She slipped her hand into his own before he could stop her. "I still can't believe you're here. I thought about you all last night. Oh, is that a pony?" She ran over to the animal, dragging Merry along with her. "I wonder whose it is. He's beautiful."

"He's mine," Merry said. "I got him in Gondor."

"May I pet him?" Merry nodded his consent and Azalea stroked the pony's head. "I've never heard of Gondor but I bet it's beautiful there. I don't know anything about the lands outside of the Shire. You're so lucky to have seen those places." She stopped petting the pony and gripped Merry's hand tighter. "Well, come on. I don't really know my way around and so maybe we can explore together."

"Well, there was something I needed to take care of, but I suppose it can wait," said Merry. He looked around for Estella and her cousin but caught no sight of them. Hopefully they were still around.

"Wonderful!" said Azalea. Still holding his hand, she walked along past shops and stalls and paused every once in a while to look at something. She chattered on the whole time and Merry only half-listened. He had to admit that Azalea wasn't really _that _bad of company and there was never a quiet moment with her around, but this really wasn't the right time to be spending time with her.

He looked up at the sky and saw that it was past noon. His parents would be wondering where he was since he hadn't told anyone where he was going. "I think I should be going soon," he said. "I had a nice time, but I need to get home."

"Oh. All right." She obviously didn't want to part with him. "Well, I had a wonderful time with you, Merry. I could spend an entire day like this and not grow tired of you. Thank you so much for spending time with me, you have no idea how much it means to me." She let go of his hand. "Even though we haven't parted yet, I already miss you." And then she completely shocked him and leaned up and kissed him. "Goodbye, Merry. I hope to see you soon." And then she walked away.

Merry stared after her. He hadn't wanted to believe it, but he had to admit that his friends were right. Azalea was obsessed with him. He couldn't believe she would actually be daring enough to kiss him. Little did he know, Estella had been standing with her cousin several feet away and had seen the whole thing.

Merry looked around to see where he had tied up his pony and his eyes fell on Estella and her cousin. So they hadn't left after all. He walked towards them and couldn't help noticing that Estella looked very pretty that afternoon. The sun was shining in her hair and she looked so beautiful that Merry kept his eyes locked on her.

"Estella!" he cried. She met his eyes and the look on her face made him almost want to run off in the opposite direction. What was the matter with her? He hadn't done anything wrong. Yet. "Estella, there's something I would like to say."

"I'm sure there is," she said, a rather hard edge to her tone.

"Now please don't talk to me that way," he said. "You'll just make things worse. I've been thinking this over and I feel that there is something I need to tell you."

"That's all right, I saw it for myself," she replied.

Merry was confused now. What in Middle-earth was she talking about? She couldn't possibly know what it was he had to say. He looked at the lass standing beside Estella. "Can you please make your cousin hear me out?"

"She should not have to listen to you," she said. "I think she already knows. You shouldn't play around with a girl's emotions like that and then snub her right in front of her face."

Merry decided that they both had gone completely and utterly mad. He couldn't make any sense out of anything they were saying.

Estella looked at her cousin in shock. "Amy! How could you say that? You know absolutely nothing about this! I don't feel that way about-" She broke off and looked at the ground.

"All right, I demand an explanation," Merry said. "Explain what you're talking about, because I can't understand any of it. Estella's cousin, you explain first."

"My name is Amethyst Bolger, not 'Estella's cousin'," the lass named Amethyst, or "Amy" said.

"Well, I'm sorry then, Amethyst Bolger. Now please tell me what you're talking about."

"It isn't anything important!" said Estella quickly. She couldn't understand why she was so horribly angry. She shouldn't be upset over something like that. Only somebody who was jealous would feel that way. And she most certainly was not jealous. She couldn't be. Could she?

"It is too important," Amy said to Estella. "Otherwise you wouldn't be so angry. You should see your face, Estella. This has obviously upset you. You saw what he did. He should just make up his mind and settle on one lass instead of playing games with two of them."

Poor Merry was still confused. What Amy had said had started to make a little sense, but surely they couldn't be talking about _that_, could they? Had they watched? And if so, then why would it upset Estella? If Pippin was there, he would have grinned at Merry and said, "I told you so."

"Can't you two just tell me exactly what you mean instead of dropping hints?" Merry said, getting frustrated.

"No. You don't need to know," said Estella. Her face was bright red and she wouldn't look at him.

"Yes he does!" Amy insisted. "He obviously isn't smart enough to get it! Merry, can't you see that you've broken Estella's heart by kissing that girl? Estella told me about her. It sounds to me as if she completely seduced you. Estella is very upset now!"

Estella wanted to smack her cousin across the face. It was true that she had told her about Azalea. One of the things she hated about Amy was that she always drew her own conclusions to everything. If there weren't enough facts, then she provided facts of her own. It was very irritating.

Merry's previous confusion was nothing compared to the confusion he felt now. Was Estella actually upset over seeing him with Azalea? That couldn't be possible. She didn't feel that way about him.

"Now you've gone and made everything worse, Amy!" Estella yelled. "What gave you that idea anyway?"

"Well only a girl who's in love with him would be acting the way you acted," Amethyst said matter-of-factly. "I know all about that sort of thing."

Estella turned her back on Amy and Merry. Merry walked over to her, gripped her by the shoulder, and turned her around. "Estella, what is the meaning of this? I want the truth. Do you have feelings for me?" For some reason, a part of him wanted her to say yes.

Estella swatted his hand away and glared at him with pure rage in her eyes. Merry flinched at the look on her face. "Don't touch me!" she said icily. "Leave me alone. Go and find Azalea and never speak to me again. I have never had feelings for you and I never will, and that makes you conceited for thinking that I do!" And then she ran off. She became smaller and smaller, so far away that they couldn't see her tears.

"Now look at what you've done," said Amy. She turned around and went after her cousin. Merry got onto his pony and immediately rode home. He had a lot to think about. If his parents thought it was odd that he was shut up in his room the whole day, they never commented on it.

* * *

I was getting bored and so I decided to put some other characters in here. So that's how Eowyn entered this chapter. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

As Estella sat alone in her room, she thought over all the things she had done yesterday afternoon at the market. Why did Merry have to be there? And why did she have to be so furious with him?

She realized that she couldn't deny it any longer. As much as she hated to admit it, she loved Merry. She couldn't believe she had never realized it before. But he would never want to talk to her now, not after what she did and said. She just couldn't control herself when she was around him. The angry words came out of her mouth before she could stop them.

She never wanted to come out of her room again. She felt horrible. After yesterday's episode, Merry would completely forget all about her and would spend all his time with Azalea. She felt sick at the thought of that.

There came a knock at the door. "Estella? Are you in there?" It was her mother.

"Yes," Estella said.

"You've been in there all day, Estella. Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Estella lied. "I just don't feel well today. I might have caught a cold yesterday when I was out with Amy."

"Do you need any medicine?" Mrs. Bolger asked.

"Oh, no. I'll get over it."

"Well, all right. Do you think you'll be able to join us for supper?"

"Perhaps. It depends on how I feel," Estella said. She had no desire to face her family. The moment they saw her, they would know that there was something horribly wrong. "I would like to rest now, Mother."

"Well, I hope you feel better." And Mrs. Bolger disappeared.

Estella returned to her thoughts. Merry would never want anything to do with her. She didn't deserve him. She was a bad, horrible person who deserved to suffer. She buried her face in a pillow and let the tears fall. She had made some big mistakes in her life, and there was nothing she could do to undo them.

x-x-x

Similar things were happening in Merry's bedroom. Just like the day before, he hadn't come out of his room for almost the whole day. He had come out to eat breakfast, but hadn't come out again. He just wanted to be alone and sort things out. Everything was just so complicated and he had a hard time processing it all through his mind.

He wasn't entirely sure, but it seemed like Estella had feelings for him. Even though she had yelled at him and then ran off, he knew that she was only running from what she was trying to deny.

She had hurt him though. He only wanted to apologize for everything and she wouldn't even give him a chance. And then her cousin had to go and make things worse by going on about Azalea. He had no intention of having a relationship was Azalea, but Estella never let him explain that. Well if she didn't want to hear him out, then he wouldn't try talking to her again. It was no use trying to get through to her. She would never listen.

He had no desire to leave his room and go anywhere that day. Pippin had come to the house earlier, but Merry wouldn't see him. He didn't want to be lectured on what to do about Estella. He didn't want to hear anything that had to do with Estella. To him, she didn't exist.

He lay on his bed and fell asleep for some time, and then woke up but didn't feel any better. He wanted to forget about everything but it was impossible. It was starting to drive him crazy.

He wished there was someone he could talk to this about, but nobody would understand and he would feel embarrassed for asking about such things. Pippin wouldn't be any help and Frodo had never had anything to do with girls. He definitely couldn't tell his parents. He would have to try his best to ignore the situation.

The day went on and it became dark. Merry had fallen asleep again, simply out of boredom, and was now sitting up on his bed polishing his sword. There was a knock on the door and his whole body froze.

"Merry, are you in there?" It was his mother. "Supper is ready and you haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

Merry didn't answer. He wasn't hungry. He hadn't had an appetite since the day before.

"Merry? Merry, answer me."

He still remained silent. The door was locked and if he didn't say a word, then maybe she would think he wasn't there. He didn't want to talk to either of his parents. They would know something was upsetting him and would probably demand to know what it is.

"Are you even in there?" A few moments passed, and then she left.

Merry let out the breath he had been holding and was able to move again. He felt bad about doing that to his mother, but he really didn't want to come into contact with anybody just yet. He inspected his sword and then stabbed and slashed at the air with it a few times. He then put it back in its sheath and stared out the window. He knew he would have to go back out in the world and stop hiding. But he would do it when he was ready.

x-x-x

"I'm concerned about our son," Mrs. Brandybuck said to her husband. Supper was over and they were alone in their bedroom. "He hasn't come out of his room, not even for meals. I knocked on his door right before supper but he didn't answer and the door was locked. I'm not even sure if he was there."

"If he wasn't in his room, then where else could he be?" Mr. Brandybuck asked.

"You don't think he's planning to run away again, do you? He disappeared last year without telling anyone and he could very easily do it again."

"We'll both go check on him then and see if he really is not in his room," Mr. Brandybuck decided. He and his wife walked over to Merry's bedroom and Mr. Brandybuck knocked on the door. "Merry? Can you hear me? If you're in there, I want you to answer me. I'll break this door down if I have to."

Merry sighed, though it was so quiet that his parents couldn't hear it. He would have to confront them now. He had done enough avoiding. "I'm here."

"Well why haven't you been answering the door?" his mother asked. "Is there something the matter? You've avoided everyone for two days. We'd like you to come out now."

Merry reluctantly got up off of his bed and unlocked and opened the door to face his parents. He took a step forward. "All right. I'm out. Can I go back inside now?"

"Not yet," his father said. "What's going on? Why have you been shut up in your room without eating or speaking to anybody?"

"There's nothing wrong," Merry insisted. "I've just felt like being alone." He went back into his room and closed the door, and his parents didn't disturb him again. They were so relieved that he hadn't run away that they decided to give him the space he desired.

Merry didn't quite understand why he had to be alone in his room, but it was what he felt like doing. Everything was different now and he didn't know if things would ever be the same again.

x-x-x

Estella did not go to supper, and her parents did not question it since they thought she was only ill. Freddie came to the door once or twice, not entirely believing his sister's claim of being sick, but Estella sent him away and wouldn't talk to him.

She felt like she was being driven mad. She couldn't stop thinking about him. Merry occupied her thoughts even though she tried to stop it. She loved him so much that it hurt. And all this time, she had hated him so much that she loved him. She wondered if that was even possible.

She didn't know what to do. She would have to force herself to forget him. She would never stand a chance with him now. So many things had happened and she probably didn't even exist to him anyway.

"Why do I have to love him?" she moaned.

"What was that, Estella? Are you feeling better?" Her mother was at the door. Had she heard her?

"Oh, no," Estella said. "I'm still feeling rather sick. I think I should stay in here for a while longer. Please don't let anyone disturb me."

"I'll leave you alone then." Mrs. Bolger left, but as she walked down the hall she was slightly troubled. Was her daughter's so-called illness really a common cold? Or was something else causing it? She could have sworn she heard Estella say "Why do I have to love him?". And she sounded so tragic and despaired as she said it, as if loving that person was causing her pain. Who was her daughter in love with? Whoever he was, it sounded as if he had broken her heart.

She longed to ask Estella about it but knew that it would be the wrong thing to do. Estella would open up to her when she was ready.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

It was an unusually sunny morning when Pippin rode up to Brandy Hall and demanded to be let in. When he was admitted inside, he marched right up to Merry's room and pounded on the door. "Meriadoc Brandybuck! I order you to leave your room right now!"

Merry sighed and slid off his bed. He couldn't ignore Pippin when he spoke in that tone. He knew Pippin well and knew that he wouldn't give up until Merry did as he was told. He went over to the door and opened it up. "Well that was a bright and cheerful 'good morning', Pippin."

"It's about time you've come back into the world," Pippin said. "I heard that you stayed in here all day long yesterday, not eating and not speaking to anyone. Your parents were terribly worried about you. They thought you were going to run off and go on another journey or something."

"Well sorry," said Merry. He hadn't meant to worry his parents so badly.

"Now why have you shut yourself up like that?" Pippin demanded. "Something happened two days ago and I'm going to find out what it is."

"No, Pippin. I can't tell you."

"Have you committed a crime and are in hiding?" Pippin asked with a grin.

Merry shook his head. "No! Nothing like that. _I _never did anything wrong."

"Well then you can tell me."

"No. You wouldn't understand." Merry looked away from his cousin. "You'll laugh at me, and then lecture me, and then you'll probably tell people about it. I don't want to talk about it anyway."

Pippin was looking at him intently. "Does it have to do with Estella?"

Merry looked at him shock. Well, there was no use in denying it. "How did you know?"

Pippin grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I'm psychic. So, did something really horrible happen between you two?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Merry said.

"All right," said Pippin. "You'd better have some breakfast. And _then_ we can talk about it."

Merry didn't protest and let Pippin lead him to breakfast. He hadn't eaten yet that morning and was feeling extremely hungry since he hadn't eaten the day before. When breakfast was over, Pippin led Merry back to his bedroom and sat down on Merry's bed. He folded his arms across his chest. "All right. Tell me what happened two days ago."

Merry reluctantly told his cousin about everything that had happened in the Bridgefields market. Pippin listened with interest and did not interrupt.

"Well why can't you go and explain things to her?" Pippin asked when Merry was finished speaking.

"No! I don't want to talk to her again. Every time I talk to her, she only yells at me and never lets me speak. No, Pippin, I can't speak to her again."

"I think you two are both being ridiculous," Pippin commented. "She loves you and you know that. Don't be cruel and deny yourself to her."

Merry shook his head stubbornly. "No. I just want to avoid her."

"Well you can do your avoiding later. You've spent too much time locked up in here. Frodo, Sam, and I are going to the Green Dragon and you're coming along too, whether you want to or not." Merry knew he couldn't argue. He got dressed and followed Pippin outside.

x-x-x

Meanwhile, in the Bolger home, Estella had managed to join her family for breakfast and second breakfast. She knew that she couldn't pretend to be sick anymore, otherwise her family would know for sure that she had been pretending.

She was just about finished with second breakfast. Her father and brother had finished eating already and had left the dining room, and it was just her and her mother left.

Mrs. Bolger looked across the table at her daughter. Now that they were alone, they could speak. "Estella, you know that when something is troubling you, you can come to me, right?"

Estella didn't meet her mother's eyes. What an unexpected thing for her to say. "Well, yes. But who says anything is bothering me?"

"Well, I'm just letting you know that you can talk to me about things. I used to be your age and have gone through many things. Don't be afraid to speak to me."

Estella was alarmed. Had her mother heard her when she was talking to herself the day before?

"Of course, I'm not forcing you to tell me anything," Mrs. Bolger said. "You may do it whenever you feel ready to."

"I could really tell you anything?" Estella said slowly.

"Of course, Estella. I won't mind what you talk about, whether it is problems you're having with friends, or yourself, or lads." She put a little more emphasis than was necessary on the last word. Estella noticed.

"Well," Estella said casually, "there is a bit of an issue that perhaps you can sort out. I don't mean to complain, I just want to know what to do." If her mother already suspected about it, then there was no use in pretending she didn't have any problems.

"I'll do my best to help," Mrs. Bolger said.

"All right," said Estella. "Well, here is what's troubling me. Mother, have you ever fallen in love with someone who you will never have a chance with?"

"I can't say that I have," Mrs. Bolger. "Of course, I was in love several times when I was young, or at least I thought it was in love, and I understand what you're going through." So she had been right when she formed her own explanation for Estella's unhappiness yesterday.

Estella continued. "Well, I thought I hated someone but it turns out I love him after all. The problem is he hates me and we sort of got in an argument yesterday and he'll probably never speak to me again."

"That's quite a problem," her mother said. "But who is this young man that you love?"

Estella looked uncomfortable and was silent. "I understand," Mrs. Bolger said. "You don't need to tell me. Now you love him but you hate him also? That's a little unusual in my opinion."

"Well I love him now. Actually, I have always loved him, but I thought that I hated him all this time. He's always hated me, so I can't talk to him about any of this. Besides, another lass loves him."

"I'm sorry," Mrs. Bolger said. "That's just how things are sometimes. But are you sure he hates you?"

Estella nodded. "We've never gotten along. If he didn't hate me before, then I know for sure that he hates me now after the way I behaved yesterday." She didn't explain what had happened the day before.

Mrs. Bolger was silent for a few moments, thinking to herself. Estella had said that she and this young man never got along. She said she thought she hated him but actually loved him, and that he disliked her. She remembered what Fredegar had said about Estella and Merry Brandybuck, and how they hated each other. Was her daughter in love with Merry?

Estella broke the silence. "Oh, I shouldn't have told you about any of this. There isn't anything you can do to help."

"Don't say that, Estella. I think you should try to confront this lad and make peace with him. Try to get him not to hate you anymore."

"Well, I suppose I could try to do that," Estella said, though she wasn't planning on taking that advice. She couldn't bear to talk to Merry. "I think I'll go to my room now." She got up from the table and went to her room.

Mrs. Bolger remained at the table, thinking to herself again. What if the lad Estella spoke of really was Merry? She thought back to two days ago when Merry had come to the door and asked for Estella. What was it he wanted her for? Mrs. Bolger now wished that she had asked. It may have saved her daughter from heartache. But it was too late for that now. What was done was done. She left the dining room and Estella did not discuss her problem again.

x-x-x

Merry followed Pippin and Sam into the Green Dragon inn and realized that he missed being around people. It wasn't any fun shutting himself up in his room.

They had asked Frodo if he wanted to accompany them, but Frodo declined. He had become quieter and quieter lately, though no one could figure out why. They didn't ask Frodo any questions, not wanting him to know they worried about him, and rode off without him.

It was early December now and the three hobbits were glad to get out of the cold once they were inside the inn. The Green Dragon had recently been re-opened and was quite crowded. Pippin led the way through the masses of people and ordered three drinks. The young barmaid eyed Pippin with interest and went to get the drinks. Pippin looked quite pleased with himself and was glad he was wearing his Gondorian armor.

Merry and Sam sat at a small table and did not say anything. Merry was glad; he didn't feel like speaking when he was still in such a confused and troubled state. He noticed that Sam was watching Rosie Cotton and smiled to himself.

After several minutes, Pippin finally came back with the drinks. "What took you so long?" Merry asked.

"Oh, no reason," Pippin said. The truth was, he had been chatting with the barmaid, who found him quite attractive and heroic looking in his armor.

Pippin handed a mug of ale to Sam. Sam's face turned red and he accepted the mug and immediately busied himself in drinking it. Pippin smirked. "Have you been watching Rosie Cotton again, Sam?"

Sam deep a deeper swig of his ale.

"I thought so," Pippin said. "Well go on and talk to her, don't be shy. I'm sure she won't mind at all. Lasses like it when you stop and talk to them."

"And how would you know that?" Merry asked. "Have you been flirting with barmaids again?"

"Well I can't help it if I'm good-looking," Pippin said. Merry rolled his eyes.

The three of them sipped at their ale and listened to the noise that filled the room, and then Pippin spoke again. "So, Merry, are you glad I've brought you back into the world?"

Merry shrugged. "I hate agreeing with you, but yes, I am glad. It's a little frightening to see you actually be right about something."

"Well, that's a little harsh," Pippin said.

"Excuse me for a moment," Sam said. "I think I'll, uh, go use the privy." He got up and walked away.

"The privy?" echoed Pippin, shaking his head. "Couldn't he have come up with a better excuse? It's obvious that he's going to go see Rosie."

"He's lucky he has a girl that he gets along with," Merry muttered bitterly.

Pippin knew he was thinking of Estella. He wished more than ever that she and Merry could just put aside their quarreling and accept their feelings. Estella loved Merry, and though Pippin wasn't entirely sure of Merry's feelings, he was sure that he loved her back, even if he didn't realize it yet.

"You know that Estella's birthday is at the end of this month," he said.

Merry took a long sip from his mug in order to avoid responding to Pippin's statement. He held his mug to his lips for a long time, until its contents were empty. Pippin reached over and pulled the mug out of his hand.

"Don't avoid the subject anymore, Merry. I was thinking that perhaps you can go to her birthday party and put things right."

Merry shook his head. "I can't do that. What would I say to her? And how would she receive me? She would only be rude and would run away."

"We'll discuss this later then, when you're ready," Pippin said firmly. He obviously wasn't going to give up on getting Merry and Estella together. He looked across the room at Sam, who was dancing with Rosie. Why couldn't things with Merry and Estella be as simple and easy as that?


End file.
